Piss, Puke & Poop Chronicles

Finally Friday...

2006-11-10T21:20:00.000-05:00

Friday's are always hectic for me as its payday. On payday, I get to run errands and pay bills, ugh. I can't get started until 1:00 pm, when payday is released and I only have until 5:00pm to make sure everything gets done. Oh the stress! Today I caught a huge break - Isaac was out of school for Veterans Day so I wasn't interrupted in the middle of errands by picking him up from school AND I didn't have many errands to run.

The boys were excellent today, actually its been a good week. Nicholas is still a little rough around the edges when it comes to potty training but the accidents are becoming fewer and fewer. Isaac had an awesome week at school and karate. Their reward for a great week is pizza after karate. Who would have ever thought a $5.00 pizza from Little Caesars would come in handy for a bribe? *giggle* It works and they only get one meal a week that I didn't cook.

Perfect!

stretch

2006-11-09T16:56:00.000-05:00

Wow, it certainly has been a while. I could give a number of excuses but one sticks out and is more useful than anyother : blogging every detail of my life depressed me. My last post was about attempting to break Nicholas from breastfeeding. You will be happy to know that Nicholas is not only boob-broke but he's also potty-trained, now 2 years old. Isaac has started kindergarten and is finally doing well, now 5 years old. It is my intention of blogging daily. I have a couple of new habits and posts will not include details of how bad my breasts hurt. *laf*

This is almost like starting a brand-new blog, its odd. I don't exactly know where to begin but I suppose I should start with a fresh look, some details on my life, updating the links and such and I intend on doing that now, this very minute.

Wish me luck!

Silent Night...

2005-08-21T10:02:00.000-04:00

Yeah right! I have some serious issues with breastfeeding consult centers and not just one in particular. Whether they are online, on a phone or in real life - none of the breastfeeding support groups do not offer support for weening. Let me describe my night to you the best way that I can in my sleep depraved state. Isaac went to Grandma's for the night so that he could actually get sleep. With only Nicholas and myself here, this is the best that I can recollect my night.

8:00 PM - Normal bedtime. Nicholas is wide awake.
8:30 PM - 30 minutes past normal bedtime and Nicholas is still awake.
8:45 PM - I'm rocking Nicholas at this point, trying my best to soothe him without the aid of my breasts and straight up knocked me on my face. My glasses are halfway across the room. Of course I am upset and after finding my glasses and agreeing with myself that I've had enough and I'm not helping him, I lay him in his playpen. His playpen is the only piece of equipment that I have that he can not climb out of.
9:00 PM - Nicholas is still screaming "Momma" in the most pititful voice ever heard and I'm about to cut my ears off with a spoon. I decide to get away. He is safe, dry, clean, with a cup and he can't escape or get hurt. I go outside with Hanna. Normally I stand at the door and let her do her thing but not last night, I went out with her.
9:15 PM - Hanna enjoyed 15 minutes of outside and I return to a quiet house. Ahh. Peace.
11:30 PM - Nicholas wakes up, screaming.
12:00 AM - Nicholas is still screaming.
12:15 PM - Nicholas cried hisself to sleep.
2:30 AM - Nicholas was up, screaming and at this point, I can't take the screaming anymore so I give in and get him out of the playpen. I took him to the living room and rocked him to sleep, successfully and without the tit.
3:00 AM - I quit rocking and lay him in his Daddy's chair. Now I am too sleepy to sleep and I get on the computer.
6:30 AM - Nicholas wakes up, walks through the house until he finds me. He takes my hand, I guess he's tired of screaming by now, and leads me into the kitchen. The little shit demanded a banana, explain "bite bite" to me. He was hungry. *giggle*

Now that you've read that, I bet that you think that I had it easy. I didn't mention the pain from my boobs. Yesturday was nothing compared to this. Its like the crowning moment in childbirth, when you are too tired to go on, your whole body is trembling and the doctor tells you to not push so that he can clean out the baby's mouth and nose. You want to push, you really do but you know that you can't and you don't but you are sure that you're going to die any second. The only difference in the pain that I suffer from now and the pain that you have when you give birth is that at birth, the pain disappears when you see the baby. With breasts, you see the baby and they ache more. It would be so easy to whip out a tit and just give it to him when he starts crying and my tits ache worse. Had I not suffered with this pain for 24 hours now, I would have given up. I'm stubborn so I am not giving in but a bitch needs a break.

Cha-Cha-Cha-Changes

2005-08-20T21:20:00.000-04:00

Hey Howdy Hey!

Wow, its amazing at how fast life changes. My boys are getting a real dose of reality these days.

Isaac started preschool last Thursday and the daily routine changed instantly. Instead of us all sleeping until 7:30am, we all get up at 6:30am. The bus no longer picks Isaac up at home so now we have to drive to meet the bus and its proven to be a headache - major. Hopefully that will be better.

Nicholas has been cut off! I took him to the doctor Friday due to his increasing whininess. I thought he had an ear infection but alas, he is cutting 7 teeth at once. His doctor ask if he was still on the breast and I replied, "of course." She frowned at me and told me that if I didn't break him soon, it would be rougher than it is going to be now. No titty for Nicholas anymore. Let me tell ya - he doesn't like it.

Today was the first full day of no more titty. My breasts are so sensitive and painful. I ask my mom, who did not breastfeed, to help me bound my breasts. So far, bounding is working with the pain and discomfort. Woowee though, let me tell you, I love my breasts full of milk. I'm a very full and perky D Cup. I'll be bitching about having little tits again soon.

How was your day?

Its been awhile...

2005-07-29T10:22:00.000-04:00

Hey Howdy Hey!!!

Life has been absolutely crazy around here. Let's see, since my last post...

Nicholas had his first birthday and it was great - remind me to post pictures of that, they are soooooooooooooo cute.

Isaac had his fourth birthday and it was also great - also remind me to post pictures of that.

I had a wreck, a horrible one but everything is settled about that and life is groovy now.

Now I'm preparing the house for a vacation. Expect LOTS of pictures from that.

Simple Reminders...

2005-03-27T08:08:00.000-05:00

I haven't posted in awhile an that is due to being busy with work, children and family. My little family has reached milestones since my last post that I think you will be joyed to read about.

Isaac. The cute, little, lovable Isaac has grown, what seems like, 6 inches. He woke up one morning and all of this jeans were too short - he is not a happy camper. He has also been being good at school, laying down for his nap and being generally polite. I've been working with him everyday on his alphabet, numbers, name, telephone number and address. This is information that all kids need to know. After a month of "homework," Isaac is now able to recognize all of the letters (write most of them), numbers, his name (from other names) and he knows the first 3 numbers of his p hone number. I think it is super groovy! He's interested in learning to read, we'll start working on that when he can write all of his letters.

Nicholas. The once adorable, cuddly, monkey man has found his legs. He is walking all over the place and rarely crawls. He still doesn't stray far from Momma but he has gained enough independence to play by himself on the floor beside me for 3 hours at a time. Next he'll be holding conversations - man they grow up fast don't they?

I have been so busy yet I've had time to think about straying away from the things that matter to me most. Is it normal? I don't know but it seems to happen every couple of years for me and up until now I have acted on it almost immediately. I think that, at least for me, married people get stuck in a routine that becomes unfulfilled and when, by chance or otherwise, something new and refreshing comes along we have two options, yes or no. I have had opportunity and have not taken it but I did consider it and that, to me, is as bad as acting on urges. Thankfully, my husband has finally figured out my schedule and has made sure that we make time to renew ourselves. Tim took a vacation from work and is home for the week. I had considered straying up until yesterday afternoon. What stopped my gears? Something simple, pure and only found in happy homes with a lot of love - laughter. I was cooking lunch yesterday when I heard Tim and the boys laughing loud and hard. I peaked around the corner and witnessed one of the best things in the world - daddy playing with his children. Tim was in his recliner with Isaac on one knee and Nicholas on the other. He was making weird noises and tickling them at the same time. My heart lit up like flowers blooming in the Spring. It was at that very moment that I decided not to stray from the things that are important to me. It reminded me that I love my life, kids and husband and only a fool would seek something new. I have been a fool in the past but there is no way on God's green earth that I would act on urges again.

~~Thank God for laughter

A good time...

2005-02-26T09:22:00.000-05:00

Dinner was perfect. The kids had a blast playing and we had a great time with Joni and her husband Mack. It's been too long since Tim and I found a couple to have dinner with. Joni and Mack are people that you don't have to learn to like. They are down to earth and just like Tim and I - living the best we can and hard working to provide for our families. Joni is a stay-at-home mom like me and Mack works long hours like Tim. We understand eachother as couples! It's a friendship that I will not let go of. It helps that our kids play well together too. Joni and Mack are mother and father of Courtney, 3, and Tyler, 22 months. Isaac and Courtney are joined at the hip - they play together at school and every chance that they get at home. Nicholas and Tyler have a blast together. They will be cuter when Nicholas is walking.

Speaking of Nicholas walking...
In my neglagence to blog, you haven't been updated! Nicholas is pulling up on everything in sight. He is also using anything that is tall enough to push across the floor so that he can walk. If he would let go, he'd take off running. It won't be long now!

Joni and Mack didn't leave until late last night and I was exhausted. Even though I scrubbed the house last night, with 5 kids, 4 adults and Hanna in my house, it is a disaster area. I'll be cleaning today!

~~Have a Great Day :)

Tools...

2005-02-24T22:29:00.000-05:00

Now that I am determined to blog every single day, I am (once again) going to be changing a few things around. I want a couple of things for my blog that I either don't have the time to find or don't have the time to make - either way - I don't have time! So, should you know where to find any one of these items, please leave it in the comments!

Wanted:
Calendar! (the kind that looks like a calendar)

Okay, so that's all that I have for now. *laughing*

How was my day?

Well, it started too early for my taste. I've been a big sleepy head since I've been sick and this morning's wake up at 4:30am came a bit too early for me. Never-the-less, my day trudged through with very little interruption. Tim is home so you can imagine what the house looks like now. My dinner table is doubling as a folding table and has 5 loads folded on it. I have clean dishes in the drainer and dirty dishes in the sink. My floors are in desperate need of my attention and no one notices because of the array of toys covering it. Tomorrow I am hosting a dinner party and the morning will be filled with scents of clorox, lysol and floor cleaner. Everything must be in its place, every surface clean, dinner prepared by 6:00pm and I have to look as wonderful as I want to feel.

~~Wish me luck

Okay okay...

2005-02-23T23:33:00.000-05:00

Life is trivial. One minute everything is fine - nothing could be better and then BAM, the bottom falls out and you don't know what in the hell happened. Such is my life. Just as I think things have finally calmed down, I get hit with a blow that knocks me back under and over my head. Let's analyze this.

House :
Good news! The house is clean but damn it hasn't shrunk. I spend my days slaving away and you can't tell from hour to hour that I have done anything. I think I'll start going through every room and throwing out the things with dust on it. I figure that if dust is present, we don't use it and thus we don't need it.

Kids :
Both of the kids have been sick again. I know that Isaac gets germs from school and I could send him through a clean room but he would still be hosting something that will get him sick and naturally, the only thing that kids will share is germs.

~Isaac - school is.....Well, honestly, I'm tired of it. I'm tired of his 'teacher'. I'd like to give her a piece of my mind and then whip her ass in front of the entire staff. It's that bad. I can't stand people that aren't forward enough with others or honest enough with themselves to act completely natural regardless of their current peers. I mean, don't kiss my ass man!

~Nicholas is teething. For those of you who have lived through this, I accept your sympathies and for those who have yet to experience this, I feel sorry for you (in advance). Baby Oragel isn't enough to keep our littlest man happy, oh no, but gnawing on Mom's nips do the trick. I'm seriously investigating my mental status on breastfeeding.

~Hanna, our dear pooch. She is a great dog: strong, beautiful, intelligent and most of the time obedient but she has a few behavioral problems. Chewing on things that are not hers. Okay, I was fine with her chewing up miscellaneous kid toys because hey! My work load got lighter but her most resent chewing no-no was Tim's favorite ball cap. As you can very well imagine, it did not go over good. Problem #2 is her strange attraction and execution of pissing on Isaac's floor. I can take her out, she can piss on everything in site and 10 minutes later I have to clean up piss on Isaac's floor. It is only one particular spot. I don't understand this! (help if you can) and last but not least the trash contents destroyer. *sigh* Her favorite thing to do, while unsupervised, is trash my house - literally. I don't like trash.

~Tim my wonderful husband whom I love with all my heart but can't stand him and I would like to beat the hell out of him about right now. The regular homely stress is bad enough without dealing with an insensible husband. For the last few months he has had the worst attitude. I'm ready to kill him and collect the life insurance money.

Now for highlights in my life that you missed:

~Riding Fence. "Riding fence" is an old cowboy term used to describe the process of inspecting and replacing or repairing fence. We have a pasture and a big dog that needs to run. It seems like the best thing in the world for Hanna would be to let her run free for a few minutes each day. My husband and I walked the fence, found 2 areas that were not Hanna-proof and proceeded to make plans to fix it.

~Mudfest '05. After purchasing supplies for the fence repairs, my wonderful husband decided to drive our car, 1995 Kia Sportage, into the pasture. Folks, take my advice and never drive a Kia Sportage into a pasture. 6 hours later and a friend's 4x4 pick-up truck later, our car was on pavement again. Status on the fence - half finished. Tim did finish the project the next day though.

Well folks, I hope that was enough to tie you over until tomorrow.

~~drained!

2005 Superbowl

2005-02-06T21:04:00.001-05:00

Site: Alltel Stadium, Jacksonville, Fla.
Date: Feb. 6, 2005
Game time: 6 p.m. EST
Note: This is the first Super Bowl ever held in Jacksonville.
Other Super Bowl host cities: New Orleans (9: Tulane Stadium 3, Louisiana Superdome 6); Miami (8 times: Orange Bowl 5, Pro Player Stadium [formerly Joe Robbie Stadium] 3); Los Angeles (7: Los Angeles Coliseum 2, Rose Bowl 5); Tampa Bay (3); San Diego (3); Atlanta (2); Houston (2); Arizona (1); Detroit (1); Minneapolis (1); Stanford (1).
Alltel seating capacity: 78,000+
NFL Headquarters: Adam's Mark Hotel
Media Center: Prime F. Osborn III Convention Center
AFC Team Hotel: Renaissance World Golf Village
AFC Practice Site: Bartram Trail High School
NFC Team Hotel: Marriott Sawgrass
NFC Practice Site: University of North Florida
(Note: Practices closed to public)
Home team: NFC Champion will wear its choice of jerseys.
Pregame Entertainment: Alicia Keys, Gretchen Wilson, Black Eyed Peas, Kelly Clarkson and Earth, Wind and Fire.
National Anthem: Combined choirs of the U.S. Naval Academey, U.S. Air Force Academy, U.S. Military Academy at West Point, U.S. Coast Guard Academy and U.S. Army Herald Trumpets.
Halftime Entertainment: Paul McCartney
Cost of the Vince Lombardi Trophy: $25,000
Who makes Super Bowl Trophy: Tiffany & Co. of New York.
Cost of Super Bowl rings: League pays for up to 150 rings at $5,000 per ring (plus adjustments for increases in gold and diamonds). League also pays for 150 pieces of jewelry for the losing team, which may not cost more than one-half the price set for the Super Bowl ring.
Host city economic impact: Super Bowl XXXVII generated a total economic impact on San Diego County of $367 million, according to a study by Marketing Information Masters, Inc. The $367 million economic impact on San Diego County compares to the $295 million impact on the region the last time it hosted a Super Bowl (XXXII) in 1998.
TV/Radio coverage: FOX will be televising its fourth Super Bowl. CBS Radio-Westwood One will be broadcasting its 18th consecutive Super Bowl, 31st overall.
Super Bowl XXXVIII TV audience: Last year's game was the most watched program ever with 144.4 million viewers. The 10 most-watched programs in TV history are all Super Bowls.
SB XXXIX ticket distribution
AFC Champion - 17.5 percent
NFC Champion - 17.5 percent
Host Team (Jaguars) - 5.00 percent
Other 29 Teams - 34.8 percent
NFL - 25.2 percent
Future Super Bowl Sites
2006 (SB XL) - Detroit
2007 (SB XLI) - Miami
2008 (SB XLII)- Arizona

We don't have any Superbowl Traditions yet. I'm sure those are soon to come in our household. We did have chicken wings and home fries for supper. Tim is on the road and I'm not watching it. The boys went to bed early.

~~All is well.

2005-02-01T11:40:00.001-05:00

lol

2005-02-01T11:40:00.000-05:00

lol

2005-02-01T11:39:00.000-05:00

lol

2005-02-01T11:38:00.000-05:00

lol

Driving in the Snow and Ice...

2005-01-31T09:40:00.000-05:00

There were only a few curves and hills that I worried about as I trotted through the snow with my sleeping babies. Thank God they were sleeping, I'm not positive that I could have concentrated enough to get us home safe had they been awake. Down Fisher Valley, I slipped a few times. The mountainous road is curvey and very dangerous in any weather with the only exception being sunny and clear. In second gear and cruising at 20 miles per hour, I topped the hill that worried me so - the one that Mom wrecked on during an ice storm. I felt at ease then but was still cautious. Once on Zephyr Road, I again began to get fearful, I had to cross the bridge that spans 4 lanes of interstate highway. Bridges ice faster than roads and if the road is already ice, the bridge is pretty much uncrossable. I made my way, slipping a few times. Finally, I was over the bridge and decided to stop at the store to get milk. I didn't know how long it would be before I could travel the roads again. I purchased the milk and took a heavy sigh before returning to the road.

A few years ago, I wrecked my camaro on a certain curve that I had to go around on the icy road. I had forgotten about the curve before I got to it and dreaded it once I realized that I had to take the curve. Just before I would have to round it, a spotted another vehicle coming around. I slowed down enough so that both of us would not have to share the road in the middle of the curve. I'm glad that I did, that motorist spun out and landed in a ditch. I did not want to go any further but I was halfway home. I phoned the state police, without stopping, and continued safely through the curve. Now I was approaching the city of Dobson and with an eased heart, I continued through the snow and ice at the cruising speed of 20 mph. I was approaching the stop lights before I realized that I would have to stop if the light was red. I did not want to stop, it is easier to slow down than to stop. Once you stop it is hard to get going again.. The heavens were with me because as I slowed to stop for the red light, it changed to green and I did not have to stop completely. I had one more turn to take before I could get out of the car with my children. A truck came up behind me as I had to take the sharp road to the left, he was right on the back of my car and I feared to slow down. I tapped my brakes a couple of times and gave a signal, hoping he would back off but he didn't. I took the turn with him hard on my heels. Finally I am on my road, the one that held my house only 2.7 miles away. I tried not to get too excited that I had made it. I lacked one huge hill before I could turn into my driveway. I shifted to first gear and took the hill at 10 mph. The truck behind me was not happy about my driving skills. I assume he wanted me to go 55mph on the ice. He was on his horn so that it woke Isaac and Nicholas up. Hanna began barking and I had only a half of a mile to go. I could see the lights of my porch on and I was happy to turn off of the road and into my front yard. I didn't want to risk the driveway under the current conditions. It would have been something to make it home - 11 miles through the snow and ice - and end up wrecking on my own driveway.

I made it. The car made it. The kids made it.

~Thanks again Chris

Wonderous Winterland...

2005-01-29T21:22:00.000-05:00

I've known for a few days that the weather here was going to take a turn for the worse. I put off grocery shopping and stocking up dispite my knowledge. Friday involved a busy afternoon in the car, picking up children and taking Hanna to the vet for a rabies shot. By the time I got out of the vet's office I was ready to go home but alas, I had to make what I thought would be a quick trip into Wal-Mart. I hate Wal-Mart but it happened to be on the way home and I was in a hurry. My quick trip ended up as an hour adventure but it was worth it, I got the things that I needed for Hanna. Once I got back to Mom's, I was exhausted and didn't want to go any further. I spent last night at Mom's.

Due to the expected changes in the weather, I had myself and the kids ready by 9:30AM to go to the grocery store and home but I opened the door and the ice was already coming down. I closed the door, took our coats off and settled in. I had planned on spending the entire storm at Mom's house but changed my mind about 7:30PM tonight. There was already about 6 inched of snow piled on the 2 hour ice accumilation and it was sleeting again. I called Tim, told him my plans, packed up the kids and the dog and we were on our way.

I have only driven in the snow and ice a couple of times - 5 times to be exact. I wouldn't exactly call myself an expert but I did get a couple of lessons in Canada *thanks Chris*. I was nervous, I have to admit it but my car has good tires, its in great running ability and I did have my cellphone.

There are only about 4 ways to get home from Mom's house. I carefully considered each way as the car warmed up. The first three ways to go involve barely used, curvy mountain roads and are definately not safe during the weather. The forth features a huge hill that Mom actually wrecked on after a previous ice storm but it was the road more traveled. It took the car 10 minutes and my scraping the windows for the windows to thaw. Finally I was on my way!

more to come later...

Busy but making it...

2005-01-25T01:15:00.000-05:00

Have you ever felt like a magician? Or maybe a miracle worker? I have recently. I've been managing to keep the house clean, kids happy, dog satisfied, Tim full and work productively. Damn I'm tired.

eM - I need you to pick out the design you like and email me with the results.

~~expect more later people lol

It has been awhile...

2005-01-16T08:40:00.000-05:00

I had full intentions of posting everyday this year. It's amazing how life turns and twists you away from the things that you want to do. Our lives have changed just a bit since the first day of the New Year. All of these changes can be summed up with one picture - tell me what is new.

Introducing Hanna. Hanna is a 15 month old rottweiler. Rottweilers have a bad reputations. I hope the next few pictures capture her special nature.

As you can see, she is a very calm and loving dog. She is perfectly capable of guarding our home though.

Here are some bonus pictures, be sure to pay attention to Nicholas's mouth.

Oh and eM, I'm just about finished with your site lol.

Always a first...

2005-01-01T20:08:00.000-05:00

Traditionally, it was thought that one could affect the luck they would have throughout the coming year by what they did or ate on the first day of the year. For that reason, it has become common for folks to celebrate the first few minutes of a brand new year in the company of family and friends. Parties often last into the middle of the night after the ringing in of a new year. It was once believed that the first visitor on New Year's Day would bring either good luck or bad luck the rest of the year. It was particularly lucky if that visitor happened to be a tall dark-haired man.

I did not get a tall dark-haired man for a visitor today. I did have a dark-haired man and a tall man but they were different men. My biological dad, grandpa, mom, Austin, Tim, Isaac, Nicholas and I had dinner together at my house. My mom and I cooked but it was mostly mom cooking while I took a nap with Nicholas.

If today was any fore shadow of what I will be doing next year, it is going to be a great year.

Speaking of reading...

2004-12-29T01:16:00.000-05:00

I'm a sucker for a good book. Back in grade school, I was the captain of a club called "Battle of the Books." At the beginning of the school year, the clubs from each school were given the exact same list of 20 books and given 5 months to read them. Each team consisted of no more than 8 people and only 4 could answer questions at a time. The competitions were outright, the team of 4 people would be the captain and 3 others, a mediator asked questions and, much like Jeopardy, the first team to buzz in and answer the question correctly, got the point. Team with the most points moved on to the next round until there was only one team that had not lost a round. I read all 20 of those books, memorized every detail in them and walked into competitions with my head high. I loved the competition, the reading and was very proud of myself for leading my team to victory and bringing home the Gold.

When I got to college, my interest in reading shifted. I developed a need to absorb everything that I read and became an encyclopedia reader with the same passion for memorizing the facts. For the past 5 years, I've engulfed myself in How-To books, mostly parenting and breastfeeding. I also have a interest in well written and illustrated children books, for obvious reasons.

On the last trip to the library to exchange our books, I spoke with the librarian. I described my reading to her and told her that I am getting bored reading facts and other opinions - nonfiction wasn't doing it for me anymore. I had almost lost my need to read. I ask her for suggestions explaining that I didn't want to read romance novels with thick love scenes and stupid women, I don't mind language that would insult others and I'm not interested in Harry Potter like stories. She recommended two books.

"'A' is for Alibi" by Sue Grafton.

"When Laurence Fif, an unscrupulous divore lawyer and reputed philanderer, was found murdered years ago, not many people in town mourned his passing. And no one, including the trial jurors, doubted wo had done the deed:all clues pointed to Nikki Fife, the victim's stunning young temptress of a wife.

Now, eight years later, Nikki is out on parole. Still maintaining her innocence and desperately seeking the real killer, Nikki retains ace private eye Kinsey Millhone to hunt down the truth--as acted out by some unexpected characters from Fife's past..."

It rocked. It has been a very long time since I got pulled into a book so far that I didn't want to put it down. Since my house was completely clean yesturday, I did not clean today. I mostly played with the kids and read the book on in between moments. I started it and finished it today, it was that good. I like the way this chick writes. It's light but detailed and easy flowing. I highly recommend this book for a groovy weekender or a rainy day replacement for sleep.

~~stoked!

New Year's Resolutions...

2004-12-28T13:29:00.000-05:00

Each year the average person makes commitments to themselves that are usually completely far fetched and impossible to keep. I am no different. I've made some of the most outlandish New Year's resolutions. I've taken a moment to recollect my past year and I've decided that I have learned a lot and accomplished more than any other year. My family has grown and at the same time we've stopped it from expanding anymore, Isaac is in school, Nicholas is still breastfeeding (yah!) and is trying to walk, Tim still loves his job, I still love that Tim still loves his job, we bought a house, and we are truly a happy little family.

In addition to the strides that my family has accomplished, this has been a big year for me personally. I've given blood 4 times, cut my hair, had a healthy child, gained lots of weight as a result and lost a total of 79lbs thus far, completely changed the way I shop, cook and the way our family eats, started my own business and managed it all with a baby on one or the other of my breasts. It's been a busy year but definitely a fruitful one.

I'm not sure that I could, or would want to, top this year. My resolutions for 2005 is to continue my quest to get my family healthy, in every aspect, to keep everything as happy as it is now, get involved in more charity work, complete the basement project, and read more. I could promise to quit smoking - yeah right - but why set myself up for a disappointment?

What are your resolutions?

Tis the season to be jolly...

2004-12-26T23:51:00.000-05:00

I have to admit that Christmas has not ment that much to me in many years. After moving out of my parent's house, it was just another day to Tim and I without children. Once we had and lost Audrey, I was basically dead on Christmas. My sister helped me with this by bringing a little girl who was about the same age that Audrey would have been who happened to have the same color hair and eyes. It was devistating and I never really got over it. This is our 5th Christmas without Audrey. It's getting better.

I refuse to feed Isaac the Santa bullshit. I do not understand how parents expect their children to be honest when, at some point or another, they will learn that their parents have been lieing to them about a fat man in a red suit. I remember when I made the Santa discovery and I felt very betrayed. In our house, our children will learn the true meaning of Christmas -- Jesus's birthday. In honor of Jesus's birthday - we give and receive, giving is more important than receiving and family is more important than anything.

For Christmas, Isaac got various toys but he did get his Leap Pad. This will help me teach him to read, something that he has been asking for. What better gift to give a child? Once he learns to read, his adventures will be unlimited. Nicholas got developmental educational toys - the Peek-A-Blocks.

I had a custom leather, hand-crafted, belt made for Tim. I think he will like it. The only reason he doesn't have it yet is because he went to work after the kids opened their presents. He did, however, get personal play time with me - you know how men are.

I got a Hoover Floor Mate. With 2800 square feet of hardwood floors I need it. You guys think I'm a neat freak. You don't realize the space that I have to maintain and it takes daily scrubbing to keep it clean. *laughing*

I've started a new project for myself - scrapbooking. I've never really done it on paper before. I design webpages and it is very similar to scrapbooking in that it is layers, each page needs to pop. Wish me luck on this. My first scrapbook will be of Isaac's first school year. I have pictures of most of the events and access to the pictures that other parents have taken. I plan to do this on the computer and print out the pages but I'm not sure that I'll get the effect that I want that way. Some things are just better if done by hand. Any suggestions?

The New Year is approaching very fast. I've accomplished everything and some that I wanted to this year. I'll post about my new goals soon.

How was your Christmas?

Party In Momma's Bed? What?

2004-12-20T03:08:00.000-05:00

The kids and I played hard all day. Nicholas took his usual naps but Isaac refused, as usual. Even though his resistance, I managed to get him to lay down for 1 hour, without sleeping, just so that I could catch my breathe. At normal bedtimes and after the usual rituals, the boys go to bed without any problems. I settle in early and feel good about the day that we've had and look forward to the couple hours of sleep that I'll be getting.

As if!

Nicholas sleeps with me, always has and it isn't something that I want to change anytime soon. He is a breast baby and we both prefer that he stay close to his breasts. Isaac sleeps in his own room, in his own bed and falls asleep watching his own television - just the way he likes it. I don't know if it was the wind or just that he got lonely but by 1:30 AM, Isaac was in bed with Nicholas and me. By 2:00 AM, the boys were playing and by 3:00 AM, I had enough. I put both of the boys into Nicholas's crib, in Nicholas's room and pulled the door to an almost closed position to keep the screaming to a minimum. Both of them hate it but I think they are learning an important lesson - Momma needs her sleep.

I'm writing this morning, 3:00 AM, while listening to Isaac cry for me and Nicholas scream for me. I'll only let it happen for 30 minutes. They are together, in a safe place, have a nightlight on and will just have to learn to sooth each other since they made my bed into a party. At 3:30 AM, I will enter the nursery and take them back to my bed, for what I hope will be, for a quiet remaining night in which I can get some sleep.

~~barely holding on to my sanity

Parental Concern...

2004-12-17T21:56:00.000-05:00

Isaac has been going to this preschool since the end of August and I am really impressed about what he is learning but at the same time, I am concerned with what he is not learning. He is a very bright 3 year old. So far at school, he has learned some important social skills but their motto is to learn through play. Sure, kids should have fun but while learning? I don't recall school being a play place but I do recall the teachers that made me laugh on several occasions. Isaac will be out of school soon, next Tuesday, and I really want to do something with him that I think he should know by now.

With it being the Christmas Season here, they have taught him about Santa Claus. I have reservations about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. I know that it is all for the kids but I don't understand how parents lie to their children from their birth and expect to raise honest children. I recall when I discovered that Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy weren't real. I felt as though I could not trust my parents. I refuse to allow my children to go through the same phase. I do believe that children need something to believe in. I understand why people use the myths and I don't discourage other parents using them. I will, however, give my children something real to believe in - religion. Now that you know my stance, I walked into the classroom this evening to find the teacher telling Isaac that if he was a bad boy, Santa would not come to see him and leave him presents. Isaac got upset. I quickly went over to Isaac and told him that there was no such thing as Santa and to never believe anyone that says differently. I told him that Christmas was Jesus birthday and that we celebrated by giving each other gifts. The teacher got mad at me. She told me that Isaac needed to know about Santa Claus - it would help him behave. I told her that lying to my child would not help him behave and that if she knew no other way than to lie to a child, she needed to quit her job to allow someone with a brain to take over. She got really upset and said that Isaac would be the one to ruin it for the other children. I wanted badly to beat this woman into a bloody pulp. I, again, explained my theory on lying and that when the other children discovered it, it would not be Isaac's fault. Parents should not lie to their children - about anything.

So Isaac has a big break coming up, over 20 days, and I want to work with him, daily on a schedule, on things that kids need to know. He knows his A, B, C song but does not recognize his letters. He is interested in reading and pretends to read all of the time. I think he is ready to start the long learning process. I think that if you teach a child when they are ready to do something, the foundation is stronger. Thus, if I begin now, he will be a stronger reader later. I've made a schedule to stick to from 8:00 AM to 2:30 PM - normal school hours here. Each day we will work on a new letter. For each letter, we will color, write, learn phonics and do some kind of fun activity to etch the letter into his little head. I will introduce a new letter only when he has mastered the current letter. I am confident that by the 10th day, he will learn at a much faster rate than the previous 9 days. We may not get through the entire alphabet on Christmas vacation but he will have at least started.

If this works out, I am debating on keeping him in preschool. Some of the behaviors he is learning there make me mad. He has learned to hit, bite and swear. These are not good things in this house. My children have been and will continue to be raised in an old fashioned state of mind. He will speak nicely to everyone, especially women, use his manners, act dignified in public and treat other children like he wants to be treated. Hitting is only to be used as communication when talking has failed. At the same time, he will be able to handle his self when the need arises. I have taught him not to hit first - never start a fight but to always finish one the winner. My children will not be pushed around and come home crying to Momma. Instead, they will give fair warning to the other child that wants to fight - talk it out first and if all else fails, they will whip the other child. This is already instinct for Isaac but it needs refining - a lot of it. Right now, Isaac skips the talking bit and goes right in for the physical part. As soon as he is 5, he will be enrolled in some sort of martial arts for structured how to other than good old fashioned ass kickin'.

I wonder, dear readers, how you feel about preschool - teaching your kids at home - and how you address hitting. I know that most of you do not have children but these are things to consider!

In Sickness And In Health...

2004-12-12T20:48:00.000-05:00

When Tim and I got married I do not think that we realized just what we were getting ourselves into. Tim said the following vows:

I, Tim , take thee, April, to be my wedded wife.
To have and to hold,
from this day forward,
for better, for worse,
for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love, honor and obey,
till death do us part.
According to God's holy ordinance,
and there to I pledge thee my faith.

I said these vows:

I, April, take thee, Tim, to be my wedded husband.
To have and to hold,
from this day forward,
for better, for worse,
for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love, honor and to cherish,
till death do us part.
According to God's holy ordinance,
and there to I pledge thee my faith.

It has came about in our household that Mom, God forbid, got sick. I was so sick that I didn't have the strength to speak. All orifices were exploding to which I had no control. Finally Tim had the opportunity to fulfill one of his vows, "in sickness and in health." This post, dear reader, is the best reproduction that I can recall.

We were Christmas shopping for the boys. I refuse to allow "Santa" in the picture because I'm not sure how people expect to raise honest children if you lie to them until they are old enough to be the wiser. Anyway, we were shopping for Peek-A-Blocks for Nicholas and actually found a Hungry Hippo thing that is really cute. We aren't really sure as to what we want to get Isaac. Tim wants to get him a pack of Sports balls. So we were shopping merrily along when I get a *groan* pain in my tummy. I stopped and looked at Tim, with what he says was "the widest that I've ever seen them". I didn't say a word to him and rushed toward the bathroom. Upon my arrival, the one stalled bathroom was hosting a mini pee party consisting of a mother/daughter combo in the stall and a waiting mother/daughter combo. I was turning green and choking down my, needing to burst free, bodily fluids. The waiting mother/daughter combo suggested that I go first but in an attempt to be the only sick person in the bathroom I insisted that she go first. I should not have done that. The little girl had the worst smelling bowels that I've ever encountered - even those belonging to my husband. So now I'm choking puke and gaining a new reason to just let it fly. The woman was rushing the poor little girl but I think it was because she couldn't stand the smell of her daughter's poo. Finally they get out of the stall and I fly in with trash can in hand. Removing the necessary clothing, I sat down and let it all go. I literally exploded. I'm not sure if it was the sounds or just a coincidence but no one entered the bathroom. After completing my disposals, I cleaned my mess and tied the trash bag. While on my way back to Tim, I happen to find the store manager. The look on her face was priceless.

"Excuse me, are you the manager of this fine establishment?"

"Why yes I am."

"Great, then you are the person that I need to speak with."

"What can I help you with?"

"I just got sick in the bathroom. I cleaned the mess but you may want to get one of your associates to remove and replace the trash bag."

*priceless look*

"Okay, thank you."

I found Tim and insisted that we leave immediately. We had other errands to run and we did so. We left from the store, went to get Tim's check, deposited it, picked Isaac up from school and finally we to the landlord's house to pay the rent and approve the closing papers on the house before the signing scheduled next Friday. I only puked three times while we were going over the papers. Each time, I went into the bathroom and tried doing it as soundless as possible - if that is possible. I was not covering well, they suggested that we take a copy home and call when I felt better. So be it. Tim drove us home - yet another good excuse to puke. When we arrived, he ordered me to the bed. I did not argue. He then knew that I was certifiably down with something that was stronger than me. If you'll read the vows carefully, he said "obey" not me. I stripped naked and climbed in bed with the pinch of energy that I had been saving for such a journey. Tim came up with the kids and piled blankets on me.

Throughout my sickness, it was not the puking, exploding ass, chills, fever or missing energy that got to me. It was listening, from my bed, to my family interacting without me. Nicholas wasn't crying for me. Isaac wasn't being his usual noisy self and Tim was wrestling with both of them on the living room floor. I fell asleep. After 3 hours though, he called in the reinforcements : Grandma. When she arrived a Pow-wow was performed in my bedroom. I spoke my requests and, again, I was demanded to stay in bed. No fighting from me. The kids were jumping on the bed, making it very hard not to puke on them, so I ordered them all out and I went back to sleep. I recall Nicholas being brought in for his ritual feedings but that is about it.

How am I now you ask?
Up to 175% of my usual 200%. I just can't bring myself to do anything but relax so I'm listening to my body and doing nothing but relaxing -- and you guys thought I am a compulsive cleaner. HA!

In the depths of the dungeon...

2004-12-04T22:32:00.000-05:00

Until recently, our basement was home to miscellaneous creatures, stacks of boxes, piles of things that we didn't use anymore and other creepy things. The basement also serves as the laundry area for this household. We've dreamed of building something down there to double our living space and have an area to entertain. We never could agree on what it is that we wanted to do with the space. Tim's dreams involved a huge flat screen plasma television and sofa where he could watch his westerns without me screaming at him to turn it down. My dreams were an apartment for guests or the occasional i-need-a-place-for-a-little-while-can-i-stay-with-you space. In a modest attempt to visualize the space, Tim has been working on clearing out the clutter for the past month. He has removed one pile at a time and hauling it wherever it needed to go. The only things he hasn't thrown out are those that can be donated or sold at a yard sale. After Thanksgiving, when the guests had left, we went into the dungeon to see what kind of space we are working with. Our ultimate goal was to agree on something! We gathered supplies: painters tape and a couple of dark crayons. The tape was to depict where we would put walls and the crayons were to label each room and the placement of needed things like toilet, tub and electrical outlets. This was so that we could get an idea of where to start once we had agreed on something.

Current view of basement:

Future view of basement:

As you can see, we have our work cut out for us but Tim is confident that we will be completely finished with the construction by the spring. I'm thinking NEXT spring - we'll see who is right. The grooviest part about this project though is that it meets both my wishes and his wishes. He'll still have his plasma TV viewing station, I'll have an adult space to entertain and it can still be used as a rented apartment should someone need it or we get strapped for cash.

Cool features of the new space :

The pool table will be great for adults, the kids when they get older AND can be converted into an elegant dining area that seats 14+ people with the simple addition of a carved top.

The living room will double as a bedroom because the sofa will host a pull-out bed making it NO problem for overnight guests to have privacy.

When the kids get really older and want to stay home but want privacy, we can charge them rent. HA!

We're putting an bath tub in the bathroom. Yeah! There is only a stand up shower in the bathroom upstairs and it makes for an interesting bath time for the boys.

Construction Steps:

Redo existing plumbing. It's currently copper pipes and not a good idea. PVC will be replacing the copper.

Sealing the basement walls. They are the cinder blocks and we need a good moisture barrier.

Framing the walls.

Electrical wires through framed walls to compensate what we need.

Install drop ceiling panels.

Sheetrock on walls, install toilet and tub.

Install cabinets and flooring.

Decorate

Decorating is going to be super groovy. Tim wants to go with a Western theme but since his little blowjob mistake, we'll be going with my Tuscany idea. I plan on hand painting murals onto every wall that resembles a garden, using antique finishes on switches, faucets and fixtures and tile flooring. We'll see but the decorating is far off. So far, we only lack the raw lumber for wall framing and the flooring. We have all of the cabinetry for the kitchen and bathrooms, as well as the sinks, bathtub and furniture. We don't have a pool table yet but we will.

~~excited!

The Insensitivity of Men...

2004-12-01T23:08:00.000-05:00

In general, historically, men are insensitive to everything. The only things that they are not sensitive about are topics directly related to themselves, their personal thoughts, feelings, loyalty to friends and other criteria concerning his penis. My husband, dear as he may be, is also guilty of the insensitivity disorder. A perfect example of how self-centered all men will be at one point of another lies below. Fair warning though, it is of sexual nature - after all, we are speaking of a man.

Usually, my husband comes home from work and helps me do my duties as his wife and the mother of our children. He doesn't mind doing the dishes, floors or laundry. He actually likes doing the bathroom and prefers to make the beds himself. Historically, mostly caused by my lack of interest, the fact that we don't have many sexual encounters has not phased him. He obediently comes home and works here too. I love this quality about him. He is not afraid to provide the bread, serve it and clean up after it. This happens to be #2 as to why I chose to breed with him, #1 being money - of course.

If you've read recent posts, you are aware of my molar extraction on Wednesday. Tim assured me that I would not have to lift a finger when he got home. Being sick, having a tooth ache and not being able to sleep for just about a week now has really worn me down. Never-the-less, Tim arrived before Isaac went to school. His promise to me quickly went out the window and I have spent the majority of the day catering to his every wish. Men!

In addition to this, and the source of my utter dissatisfaction and appalledness, tonight, only 1 day after my extraction and after weeks of not being able to care for myself properly, completely exhausted, Tim wants me to suck his dick. Okay people, I'm going to have a problem with this! Hello?!?! Is this mic on? Can you not see, hear, feel or think? Jesus Christ! His wish, this time, was not granted. Instead, he got an ear full, an ashtray thrown against his head and he went to bed without me. If it kills me, I will teach him to be sensitive to my needs - which doesn't include sucking his dick.

Until further notice, I am on strike. I will not cook, clean, do laundry, make beds, put gas in the car or do anything that doesn't directly involve myself - at least while he is home. He will not benefit from anything that I do. I can barely open my mouth wide enough to host a fork with a small amount of food on it, much less his dick. I mean how dare him!

~~pissed.

A Serious Pain In The....

2004-11-30T23:27:00.000-05:00

Tooth.

That's right. I have a throbbing tooth that emulates pain throughout my mouth, down the left side of my neck and it disperses through my body from there. It all started back in 1998, my first pregnancy. The prenatal vitamins made me sicker than sick. I went through 6 different variations and 7 months of the pregnancy before I found a prenatal vitamin that agreed with my system. My second pregnancy posed the same problem as the miracle prenatal vitamin was discontinued. I've tried 24 different prenatal vitamins over a span of 3 pregnancies with only one, discontinued, success.

There are many misconceptions about prenatal vitamins. Some women think prenatal vitamins are essential for the healthy growth of their child. This is untrue. The prenatal vitamins are to replenish the mother's health. A woman's body is as complicated as women are to men - mentally. Our bodies are designed to carry, deliver and feed a child without any outside help. What most women do not realize is that giving to our children takes away from ourselves. Most mother's figure this out when the child is wearing brand new clothes and they've had to sew kitchen towels together to make a skirt. Even after hosting our children for 9 months, we can not put ourselves before our children - with a few exceptions to this rule. Those exceptions are the mothers that should never be mothers, watch the news and you will know exactly what I mean. So prenatal vitamins replace, in our bodies, what the baby requires. I couldn't take them and, lucky or not, bad teeth are my result. Many mothers in my same situation face anemia and degenerating bones, this is why I am luckier than most.

So what happens to my teeth? A calcium deficiency has caused my teeth to be exceptionally weak. So weak that, on the way to South Carolina, to get my father for Thanksgiving, Nicholas and I were snacking on Cheese Doodles (the crunchy ones) when one of my molars shattered in my mouth. You can not imagine the sudden burst of pain. When I say it hurt, I mean it hurt. I've been through two natural deliveries of children over 8 lbs, a c-section, and laproscopy, two tattoos and numerous piercing. None of them compared to this pain. I've dealt with the pain and put of dental care but today my pain worsened.

Eating has been near to impossible. When I do eat, the pain makes me nauseous. My milk supply has decreased to the point that Nicholas has to stay on my breast to be adequately nourished. It gets worse.

Today, while brushing my teeth to try and ease pain, the bristles on my brush hit the exposed nerve in my mouth. I almost puked. I couldn't move my tongue or my jaw, which was left wide open. I couldn't speak, cry or do anything but stand there, looking in the mirror watching blood gush from my mouth. After many moments, I was able to spit. I was about to rinse the sink when I noticed something in the blood. I was not inspecting it but thought it important to find out what it was. With toilet paper and careful hands, I found that it was a portion of my tooth. Holy Shit! I'm still throbbing, bleeding and in complete awe that my tooth brush broke my tooth - I mean, who ever thought that a tooth brush could bring someone to their knees without stabbing them in the eye with it? - when I call my dentist and tell him what has happened. I have an appointment for, hopefully, a repair but most likely an extraction for tomorrow. I really don't care what he does as long as I have remaining teeth or dentures.

~happy chewing!

X Rated - Read At Own Risk...

2004-11-27T22:05:00.000-05:00

Okay, before you read this post, I recommend that you first use the potty. I've been giggling about it all day. This is an indepth journey into my twisted head.

Today, Tim and I decide that we need newer used furniture. Most of you know by now that I like to help people out. In addition to giving blood every 56 days and chopping my hair off for kids with cancer, we also buy slightly used furniture from Habitat For Humanity. For those of you that don't know, Habitat For Humanity is an organization comprised of volunteers. They build houses for under priviledged families. The families that receive the house also has to complete so many volunteer hours on the building of their home as well a different home project. It is really great for my community and yours because this organization is international. Anyways, Habitat For Humanity gets funding for building supplies from companies, individuals and buy selling donated items. Locally, we have a Habitat For Humanity Shoppe. I've always liked to browse there because the items found there are usually in really good condition and priced well. Anyways, we went to see what they had in the furniture department. Dedicated readers know that we purchased a house not too long ago that will fit four of our old house inside it. We are just beginning to fill up the space. Perhaps it was by fate of a greater spirit but my grandfather happened to stop by with his pick-up truck moments before our planned departure. He tagged along, with his pick-up truck.

We get to the HFH Shoppe and browse through the entire store. I immediately spotted the furniture that I had in mind to replace the existing furniture. We purchased, loaded and delivered our brand new used furniture to our oversized house. We were removing our older used furniture when it dawned on me how many times Tim and I had gotten freaky on the items. Okay, I will stop right here and do some explaining before you guys think that we are nymphos. Tim and I had no other choice but to have marital affairs in the living room due to the fact that our bed has been taken over by a cover hogging 7 month old for the past 7 months. Nicholas has slept with us from day one. When you're married and have kids, you'll experience these bed bugs from time to time and completely understand our business in the living room.

A huge smile came over my face and I informed Tim that we should keep the furniture for the apartment that we are building in the basement. He ask why and I explained that it was for mostly sentimental value. He shrugged and we carried the furniture, together, into the basement. Since we have kids, we were always careful about left behind bodily fluids. So careful that there was never any left behind bodily fluids. Not everyone is so clean about their dirty business and no, I am not a compulsive cleaner. This is proof that I believe in prevention first.

As we hoisted the new used furniture into the house, I began thinking about the origin of our furniture. I started laughing.

"*laughing* Ouch, stop, I can't carry this thing and laugh too." I moaned as I dropped the sofa on my already broken pinky toe.

"Exactly why are you laughing?" inquired Tim.

"Um, did ya ever stop to think if someone had left nut juice on this sofa?"

"Gross."

"Yes it is gross."

"Okay, so we'll put a cover over it until you clean it."

"Deal."

"Holy shit, that's why you want to keep our old couch."

"Um, no, not exactly."

"Sure it is, you want to look it over really good and make sure that we didn't leave nut juice. You're sick woman."

"Excuse me but if there was nut juice on our sofa, which there isn't, then you'd be the one that left it behind. That doesn't make me sick. I just want to laugh at conservative people that may sit on that couch one day."

"Why would you laugh at a conservative person?"

"Can you imagine Tim? 'wow this is a nice sofa' 'yeah, we broke it in real good' and then me smack your ass. Can you imagine the look on their face and how fast would you think that they would jump out of it?" At this point I am laughing so hard that I need a potty.

"You're still sick, pick the damned sofa up, it's cold out here."

I may be just a little twisted but I can't wait for an opportunity to make someone blush. As for the furniture, it is in great condition - no visible traces of nut juice and the covers are in place until Monday morning when I can rent a steam cleaner. The only problem with the new used furniture is that it is the wrong color. You guys have seen our rug:

The new used furniture is a really pretty blue but I like the rug and it is staying. Instead, I will recover the current blue with a blend of something spectacular to make it all match. My thoughts as of now are on a green color with maybe some darker tan trim. Who knows what I'll come up with but before/after pictures will be taken and shared. I wonder if Fancy Gap Variety is open tomorrow. Fancy Gap Variety is the greatest place to get upholstery fabric from. The quality is unmatched and the price is right too.

~~oh no, here comes another idea and it does not involve nut juice

Thanksgiving...

2004-11-26T20:52:00.000-05:00

Thanksgiving Dinner went off without a hitch. I got up early and finished preparations on the dinner. By noon my portion of the meal was complete. We were eating by 2:00 PM and everyone got along. Even the kids behaved. For those of you that do not believe in miracles, start believing - one happened today. I didn't act fake and no one faught. It's amazing really.

~glad its over

Bitter Sweet...

2004-11-24T23:01:00.000-05:00

Lately, okay for more than a month now, I've been pretty bitter. I can sit here and explain in great detail what is going on in my super personal life but it wouldn't help you to understand why I am bitter. I'd have to tell you every memory of my life - all of the way back to my childhood - and I'm just not into that sort of thing. It's almost like trying to tell someone that doesn't know how - how to tie their shoes. Sure, you tie your shoes everyday but explaining something so simple to you is almost impossible to explain to another person - especially someone that doesn't understand.

The people around me don't understand my bitterness either. If they would shut up every now and again and just listen to my silence, they would grow closer to the reasons. If they would put themselves aside and look outside of their own life, they would be even closer. These same people that do not understand are my only net. Net being what catches me if I were to fall and trust me, it would take everyone in my personal life to catch me if I were to fall.

I like doing things thoroughly but the easiest way for me. My way may not work for you and your way will most likely not work for me. This all means that I do not desire or need to know how other people do the things that I do. Occasionally, someone will have a better plan but I like the way I do things. Cooking is a great example of this. Even though I'm losing weight, I love to cook and I love to eat - more importantly, I love to eat what I cook. I need not the "expert" advise of people around me to tell me how to cook something that I've been cooking for years and have never had a complaint about (others or myself). I am the best critic of my cooking - if it is not tastey, I throw it out and start again. I've never forced my food on anyone and no one has ever complained. This all seems pretty petty but it brings me into my next bitch - Thanksgiving Dinner.

The whole meaning of Thanksgiving is to be thankful for what you have - to give thanks to others. Being that I have the largest little family in my big family, I am going to cook Thanksgiving Dinner for my little big family. Traditionally, the eldest woman in the family cooks this meal, my Granny, but since the death of my Granny, Thanksgiving has went to hell in a hand basket in my big family. Instead of the little families getting together to make a big family, the little families have their own little Thanksgiving. I am not the oldest in the big family but I am the only female in my little family, therefore I'm cooking the meal. I don't think that my Mom has confidence that I can pull this off. Instead of allowing me the pleasure of cooking the entire meal, she has insisted on cooking a number of dishes that "(I) won't get right." I let this slide. It is a big feast and I give THANKS that she understands that I have small children and may not be ready for such an accomplishment so early in the developmental stages of my children.

Historically, at least one argument takes place on Thanksgiving. This is to be expected with my family - none of us can get along. We are all opinionated. Healthy debates are good for a family and now that my sister lives in Oklahoma and my brother won't be visiting, the only people that could have an argument is my mother and me. I don't like arguing with my Mom. She gave birth to me but she doesn't understand me. Come to think of it, she hasn't truly understood me since I went to college (15 years old). This misunderstanding only got worse when my Granny passed and was far gone by the time Audrey passed. She just doesn't get me or what makes me tick. This leads me back to the tieing shoes thing - even with her.

What am I supposed to do? I've tried professional help - that was a waste of time. Explaining myself to people would take far too long and cause them bitterness too. There isn't anything that brings me complete peace or instant calmness. My family has learned to just walk away from me when I am bitter. Tomorrow, Thanksgiving, I will probably be completely fake in an attempt to have the first nonstressful holiday that my little family has ever had. Have I mentioned how hard it is for me to act like everything is okay when it really isn't?

My hair...

2004-11-19T23:08:00.000-05:00

As most of you know, my hair was pretty long - past my ass long - so long that people know me by my hair alone.

It's naturally curly and really thick. As unruly as a rebelling teenager and twice as unpredictable. It would entangle you if you got close enough and stick to the head rests in your car. Had I ever killed anyone, even with a swimmers cap on, a hair would have been left behind for forensic teams to analyze and extract my DNA. Even though it caused a 12 year headache, I would not cut it. My fathers forbid me to cut it. My husband ask me to never cut it. It was so overpowering to people that they would always want to touch it, just on the ends but never play with it.

Those days are gone.

Wenesday, I was approached and ask if I would cut my hair for a child that had leukemia. She had undergone surgery and chemotherapy. She had survived the cancer, only to be bald. Her bald head drew unwanted sympathy that forced her to tell or hear her story being told - over and over again. She wanted nothing more than to move on. I called Tim. I made an appointment with the chick that cuts my Mom's hair.

Thursday, I bravely walked into a beauty salon. A foreign place to me. I haven't been in one, as a customer, since - well - I can't remember. I sat in the chair and watched in the mirror as 14 and 1/2 inches, of my own hair, was cut from my head. I shed not a tear but a sigh of relief. As the scissors reached the middle area of the hair she was removing, my headache of 12 years instantly went away. My sore neck almost was unsore and my eyebrows relaxed into a position that looks completely more natural. Relief! After she cut my hair, she washed it and styled it and I walked out into the sunlight and cool morning air with a new, bouncy, sassy hair doo.

The results from one hair cut could not be more amazing. One hair cut lead to the complete rejuvenation of two young ladies with a lifetime of possibilities that are more clear now than before.

Links are coming but I'm exhausted - and not from cleaning!

Oh yeah...

2004-11-14T08:23:00.000-05:00

Due to popular demand, a collection of my favorite recipes are coming soon. As is a family photo album.

In the thick of things...

2004-11-14T07:44:00.000-05:00

Friday afternoon, I got an interesting phone call from Isaac's school. I thought everyone would be off at their teaching seminar but it turns out that the administration did not attend. My conversation with DG took about 2 hours of my time and we discussed everything from child bearing to raising and how it directly involved Isaac at school. I expressed my disappointment in the system and maintained a professional attitude (which is a personal milestone for myself). After commenting that from now on, I will not be involved in anything that isn't directly related to Isaac, she went all to pieces. I told her that I quit Policy Council because I can not be apart of something that I don't believe in and they had lost my trust thus losing my participation. I went on to explain that the Policy Council encourages all questions, comments and complaints but does not support parents through concerns. She ask what she could do to regain my trust and I told her that it wasn't up to her. I demand apologies from those that have wronged me in front of the people that they have slain my name to. I, again, explained that I had a healthy lawsuit against the school for forgery, slander and breech of the privacy agreement. After explaining how I had such a lawsuit, she ensured me that I would get my apologies, plus some, and that my involvement in the school is very important to her and every other administration as well as Isaac. I don't mind my ass being kissed but it was the wrong person doing it and I explained that to her.

Tim was home this weekend and due to his feeling deprived of wifely affections, I avoided the internet, telephone and door bell. We had a relatively quite couple of days. We spent our time loving on our children and hanging out in a family unit way. Tim and I watched several Disney movies with the boys and got in the floor to play with them. Times like those is what makes being a wife and mother the most important and rewarding thing that I do. I'm lucky to have a husband that values his wife and children as much as I value him as a husband and our children. We did go out to get Tim's check, go to the bank and do some needed shopping. In the process though, something very odd happened.

On our outing, Tim took us to the mall. He explained that he needed a new travel bag. Tim's needs in the travel bag department are very specific. He travels for 5 out of 7 days. He needs something sturdy, large enough to hold his things and with a very specific zipper. You can laugh, I did when I found out that a zipper is more important than anything else when shopping for a travel bag. Anyways, we were walking into the mall and Nicholas's shoe came off. Tim took Isaac by the hand and said to me, "Finish your smoke, we'll be right back." I thought nothing of it and sat there, happily discussing peoples wrong outfits with Nicholas and smoking my smoke. When I finished, I looked up and saw Tim and Isaac coming back.

"I need you to go into the jewelry store and give them your fingers."
"uh, which finger? Don't you think I need all of my fingers?"
"*laughing*Every finger dear and they'll give them back."
"okay"

I went into the store, alone, and the guy ask me if I was Mrs. S. Then he measured every finger.

"So, why do you need my ring sizes?"
"That's a secret."
"Why?"
"Because your husband is a very large man and he says that it is."
"He's really just a big pussycat, let me handle him, so what did you say this was for?"
"I'll point the obvious out to you and then I'm going in the back to record your ring size. Obviously it is to determine your ring sizes."

He left! It was honestly the first time that I haven't been able to get exactly what I wanted from a man. I was disappointed. I came out of the store with my head hung and Tim laughed at me.

"You tried to find out what it was for didn't you?"
*angry look*
"You didn't find anything out did you?"
"Only the obvious."
"What's the obvious?"
"That you had me go in there to get my fingers measured so as to determine my ring sizes."
"*laughing at me AGAIN* Duh honey, you may need a vacation, your sharp skills are getting dull."
"Gee thanks."

I'm sure that my ring size is needed for a ring. I don't know what kind of ring or for which finger. I'm sure it is a Christmas present though. Let's take a minute to recap the presents given to me by my husband.

1st Anniversary = a $2000 vacuum cleaner (Kirby)
All other Anniversaries = nothing
2003 Christmas = nothing
2004 Birthday = nothing
2004 Mother's Day = nothing

As you can see, my husband either doesn't like shopping or I am hard to buy for. I'm not hard to buy for but do keep in mind that I don't do the regular mushy flowers, candy, sexy things to wear at night stuff. I hope he doesn't go overboard.

~~Quietly Content

Busy As A Bee...

2004-11-10T05:57:00.000-05:00

It seems as though I only post about cleaning, which would make regular people question my sanity. Some describe me as compulsive and this morning's post will surely justify it.

Here I sit, at 6:00 AM. I've been up and working since 4:30 AM. My work has involved cleaning the kitchen and the cartoon room. I haven't had much time lately to devote to the house between the school and volunteering. I'll explain.

I've been on several field trips with Isaac's school. I like helping and 18, 3 and 4 year olds, can be a bit much for two teachers on an outing. I dread grocery shopping with my two. On these trips, I've got to know the kids and their personalities. I've been concerned about one child in particular and the fact that he can use his hands for nothing but punching, hitting, scratching and beating other kids and mainly in their faces. I have a problem with this so I've ask, several times, what can be done and each time I get this explanation:

"Child A is in an unstable home with only his mother and three older brothers. His father walked out last year and now the mom leaves the care of her children to her oldest while she goes on dates. We know he is troubled but he was much worse last year."

The day of the Halloween Day at Isaac's school, I witnessed the head teacher tell the kids, not once but twice, to "SHUT UP!" Okay, pardon me but I happen to have a problem with this. Also, Child A continued to abuse the other children. I also happen to have a problem with this, still. So after returning home from Halloween Day with my husband, children, Joni and her children, I called the office of the school and explained what was going on and ask what could be done about it. The lady listened contently and gave me the number to the head office and the extension of the person that I needed to speak with. I called the head office and spoke with the needed person and again explained what I had witnessed on the field trips and the current day at school. She assured me that it would be confidential and resolved quickly. Neither were true.

The very next day, Joni was literally cussed out by the main teacher on the phone. She was very upset and came over to my house to tell me what had happened. I again called the main office to give an update on the situation.

In an attempt not to make this post a record length, the treatment of Joni and myself by the teachers, staff and other parents has dramatically changed. So much so that last Friday, Joni went to pick up her child and was ask to do the laundry by the main teacher, since Joni's name was on the sign-up sheet for laundry. She was also told that I had done laundry before. Laundry consists of 18 blankets and 18 sheets. I have never done laundry and when Joni called to ask me I was appalled. She ended up bringing the laundry over and we did it together. Do not get me wrong, I do not mind doing the laundry. I would go as far to do it every Friday just so the teachers wouldn't have to go through the pain of having the find someone willing to do it. I do, however, have a problem with my "signature" being on a sheet that I have never signed and statements being made about me that are straight lies. It insults both my integrity and my intelligence.

Monday morning, Joni and I took our kids to school at the same time. We walked in together with our children. The main teacher was conviently out for personal reasons. The teacher's assistant quickly started the laundry conversation with Joni and it went downhill from there. I ask to see my signature on the laundry list and my name, as well as Joni's, was there but in the same signature - neither of which belonged to us. It was the handwriting of the main teacher. In an attempt to not make the shit stink worse, I did not report this to the main office but waited so that I could speak with the main teacher on Tuesday. When Joni returned to school to pick her child up, she was confronted by another parent who was angry with her for reporting the main teacher the week before, telling Joni:

"You need to keep your mouth shut. You do not know what Mainteach is going through right now and your lies are devastating her. I know who the other bitch is that complained and if she would quit hiding, I will confront her too."

Joni was so upset. She called me and told me that she was pulling her child out of the school because the bullshit wasn't worth it. Her husband refused to allow her to remove the child and said that he would handle the situation at the school. For Joni's sake, I was willing to let it all go. Until...

Tuesday morning, yesterday, I went in with Isaac. Joni's hubby was already there with their child and was talking with the food service lady. The Assistant Teacher was again in charge due to the Main Teacher being out again. I did not say anything, to anyone, and was on my way out the door when the food service chick points at me and calls me a liar. Whew. I do hope that you appreciate the amount of self control that I had to maintain in order not to knock every tooth in her head down her throat. I simply turned and told her that I had never done laundry and I would never do laundry. She proceeded to say that she knew for a fact that I have done laundry because she brought it to me on the bus one Friday afternoon when she dropped off Isaac. I ask her when and she could not reply. I told her that I was not a liar and I would prove it. She rolled her eyes with a "yeah right." I ask Assistant Teach to see the volunteer sheets, that if I had done laundry, it would be on the sheet. She explained that they were turned in every month and they were no longer at the school but at the main office. The Food Service Chick grinned. I looked at her and explained:

"I hope that you do not think that I think that 30 miles one way is too far to go to prove that you are a liar and I am not. If you do, you have badly judged me. I know, you know and these teachers know that I have never done laundry. When the volunteer hours for it is not beside my name, you will only say that I did not mark it down. For that reason, I will go to the main office and do a bit of research. If you where on the bus, Main Teach had to be out. Since laundry goes out on Fridays, it shouldn't be too awfully hard to narrow down if you have been on the bus on a week ending day. If you were, we can ask the person that rode the bus the following Monday if I have turned in laundry on the bus. Now, there are only 3 people that have rode the bus. You, Assistant Teach and that lady right there. So let's eliminate this problem right now. Have you, Assistant Teach or you, Lady, ever gotten laundry from me on any day? *both of them answer "no" and the food service chick's face turned red* Now, do not insult my intelligence again for every time your peon of a brain tries it will always be knocked down."

I left.

I had an appointment at 8:45 AM and after leaving from it, I went straight to the main office of the school. I, once again, explained the problems and added this last episode of retardedness. This time, I also made them aware that I am aware of the FEDERAL law stating that every employee of a government position has to sign a confidentiality agreement. I stated that by other parents being aware of the situation, that agreement was breached and there were only 3 people that could be responsible, if the need be, I would file my own personal suit against the person, school and state for breech of confidentiality agreement, hazing and slander.

My child getting an education should not be this hard. I should not have to fight with anyone. The teacher shouldn't use words like she does and the children that pose a threat to the other children need to be sent home. The lies and bullshit need to stop and everything will be just fine. I refuse to remove Isaac from school. He needs this, regardless of what I have to go through to insure that he is not mentally, emotionally or physically abused in the process.

Mr. Clean...

2004-11-04T09:21:00.000-05:00

I am not obsessive about cleaning. I am not a compulsive cleaner but I do enjoy the fact that anyone can stop by my house at any time and it be sparkling. If your favorite star, regardless of the genre, were to stop by your house at this very instance, who would be ashamed of the condition of their house? What if they needed to spend the night? Are your sheets clean? Fresh towels in the bathroom? Soap scum ring around the tub? Toilet sparkling? I'd open the door wide, invite them in, cook them something to eat and kick back.

My house isn't exactly sparkling at the moment though. I have yet to go to the laundry mat to wash bedspreads, my sheets are clean though. I still lack the floors, as I didn't get to them yesterday. I have a few dishes to wash and I need to get my dinner gong for tomorrow when Tim gets home.

Tomorrow's Menu

baked ham
fordhook lima beans
fresh corn on the cob
potato salad
steamed veggies
biscuits
from scratch pumpkin pie
fried apple pies (Tim's fav)

Today has started rougher than most mornings though. I woke up early this morning to get motivated and it was drizzling outside, I was completely out of cigarettes and that combination means that my coffee won't kick in until about 10:00AM. *deep sigh* So after shuffling Isaac off to school, I loaded Nicholas in the car and went to the store for a pack of smokes. The weather has broke and the sun is trying to peak out. I'm on my way to the laundry mat. I'll wash, dry and fold the linens there to save time at home. When I return, I'll go through each room, cleaning - even the floor - until the entire house is sparkling, smelling fresh and ready for Daddy's return. Then I'll start on tomorrow's dinner. Ham is best when it is baked slowly on a low temperature in the oven. 300 degrees for 8 hours should produce a ham that will melt in your mouth. Potato salad is always best the day after it is originally made so I will also prepare this. The pumpkin pie will be from scratch so before the ham can go in the oven, I need to wash and cut 2 pie pumpkins in half and bake them until they are soft. While those are baking, I'll make the pie crust and get it ready to replace the pumpkin in the oven. Then I'll have to remove the skin and strain the pumpkin to make sure it is smooth. The beans will go in the crockpot and dinner will be complete with the exception of biscuits and steamed veggies. Tomorrow, an hour before dinner, I'll wrap the corn in tinfoil and bake it nice and slow in the oven with the ham, steam veggies and replace the ham and corn in the oven with made from scratch biscuits. It's always easier to cook over a span of time than all in one day. If you do it all in one day, by the time you get done, you can't eat what you've cooked. I imagine that our appetites will be strong after smelling ham for 8 hours.

More to come later...

More hath come!
Dinner is well on its way. The pumpkin pie is ready for assembly and baking and all that I lack to do tomorrow is steam veggies. The ham has cast a wonderful aroma throughout the house. I'm SO hungry that it is getting hard to follow the "no eating after 7PM rule." The house is beautiful. All of the bedspreads are clean and crisp.

Tim's ETA : 1:00 AM

And the winner is...

2004-11-03T14:11:00.000-05:00

George W. Bush for a second term in office as the United States of America President. I can not express to you how glad I am that this election is over. The media, as usual, brought too much coverage with too little facts. For 5 hours last night on the national television stations, we watched main anchor women and men wait for the results of each state. In between final counts were a rash of "experts" on various subjects to pollute what was actually going on.

This afternoon, at 1:00 PM EST, John Kerry publically announced, his self, that he was conceding the presidential race. During his blah blah speech about how he knew American's hopes, dreams, fears and stuggles he started to weep. On national television, a grown man shed a tear. What a freaking puss! You lost! It's not the end of the world. He'll be back next year, when Bush is sure to get out of office - being that an American President can only serve 2 consecutives years in office as president. I, again, won't be voting for him because he is a puss. There's no way that I would want a cry baby to be president of this country. It makes me glad that he didn't run in the 2000 race. Had he been president when the towers fell, I can see him now crying like a little baby and sucking his thumb.

I like Bush. I like the way he speaks without prepared speechs. I like the way he throws backyard bar-b-ques on the south lawn, wears a cowboy hat and invites his redneck friends dressed in Wranglers and super starched pressed shirts. I like the way he uses our language instead of dressing up lies with million dollar words. I like the way he stands up to everyone. I like the way he doesn't get emotional about anything. I agree with the War on Terror, someone needs to protect the world and who else should have taken the first step?

These are my real life views on American Politics, they are not based on statistics, political facts or your opinions. For this reason, this post will not allow comments. Sorry but you have your own blog to post your political opinions on and, generally speaking, baseball, religion and politics will always cause an arguement.

Is my ass really that big?

2004-11-02T14:40:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I over exerted myself yesterday with the whole bank thing. I woke up this morning so sore that I could barely move. I hurt in places that I forgot that I had and it suddenly hit me that my ass is HUGE! Now that the large lump of fat is aching, I can feel every inch of it. I ask my hubby why he didn't tell me how large my ass is and his reply was:

"You've been working on it. Its smaller now than it used to be."

Okay, fair enough. So I had planned on going back to the bank today but my mother informed me that she would not be able to help with Nicholas. My husband is working, Joni is busy and that's about all that I know to help me with him. Tim suggested my grandpa earlier this morning and I was able to catch him before he left to piddle with his friends. When he arrived, we went to find more money. We were there for a total of 2 hours before it started raining.

Yesterday's discovery : $271.00 and 1/2 of a $100.00
Today's discovery : $120.00
Total : $491.00
Left to be found : $20.00

I told my husband, and you I do believe, that I lost the money and I would see to it that we regained it somehow. I have, at least most of it. I do, however, feel that the irony here is just grossly humorous. Consider this:

I lost $510.00 and found it on a bank.

Tomorrow involves my going to a public laundry mat to wash our oversized blankets and sofa covers. I know that you know how excited I am about this. I also get to do my floors again.

~woohoo

Needle In A Haystack...

2004-11-01T14:27:00.000-05:00

It was no joke that I lost our house payment. Although I didn't cry, I wanted to. Tim was very angry, and really still is, at me. I've dealt with the smart comments and the looking when I possessed just a $1.00 bill in my pocket. I've learned to swallow my pride when Tim made comments like, "Do you think you can keep that dollar and not lose it?" I've been working overtime to somehow make $510.00 to replace it so that maybe it would all stop. I got a call at about 11:00 AM from our landlord.

"April, Billy was outside and went to dump a load of leaves over the bank and found part of your bank envelope. You might want to get someone to come over here and go down the bank to find the money."

As soon as I could get us dressed I was out the door. Since I am the one that lost it, I was going down the bank -- no matter what the bank looked like.

After picking Mom up, we headed up the mountain to Billy and Carol's house. Upon arriving, Billy met us in the driveway to show us where he dumps his leaves. He has a yard vacuum and sucks up the cut grass and fallen leaves weekly. He explained that he went to dump a load of leaves over the bank and happened to look down and found the bank envelope.

When I was in college, myself and a group of friends would go rock climbing any chance that we got. It used to scare my mom out of her wits. She would beg me not to go rock climbing with "amateurs". Well, today those skills came in handy.
The bank is about 20 foot down and at a grade so steep that it required a ladder that was tied to a tree at the top since the bottom happens to be a river. I took a couple of quick draws off of a smoke while I pondered where I would start. He has been dumping leaves here for 12 years. I knew that if I were to make a wrong move, I'd be in the river and that I'd probably take the money with me. Even though I didn't have the proper shoes and only leaves to stabilize myself with, I managed to recover $271.00 and half of a $100.00 of my lost $510 as well as stay dry. I did look like I had been wrestling a wild boar though. I was covered from head to toe in leaf fragments and mud.

Unfortunately, my party days are over eM. When you become a mother, you buy the things your family needs first which happened to be groceries. I did have a blast grocery shopping though. It was odd really but the boys got along and Nicholas let me put him in the buggy without crying. I spend the majority of what I found today and I'm glad that now my cup runneth over. If all else fails - we'll have food.

~~yay!

House Cleaning...

2004-10-31T18:45:00.000-05:00

As I posted earlier, today I planned on cleaning the house, completing laundry and doing the floors. I succeeded.

I lack only the comforters for each bed. I will take them to the laundry mat tomorrow to wash them more thoroughly in the huge washers that they have. I love those washers and wish that I had one here at home. I, once again, swept and mopped every floor in my house. I cleaned the kitchen 3 times today, after every meal, in an attempt to keep it clean. The floor in the kitchen currently looks like someone went through it with a pair of muddy boots on. I'm pissed. I spent all day cleaning and you can barely tell. Oh well, such is the life of a mother -- no matter how much you clean, it will always get dirty again and sooner than you prefer.

My car is still spotless though, inside and out, thanks to my dear mother. I dunno what got into her today but she cleaned the cars up while I cleaned and cooked.

Tomorrow I may or may not keep Joni's kids. I haven't introduced you to Joni but I will soon. I know that I have to get an inspection sticker for my car though. Nicholas has another dermatologist appointment tomorrow afternoon. Isaac is out of school. Another busy day. Tomorrow's activities just may trash my car.

*laughs*

It's Party Time...

2004-10-31T08:38:00.000-05:00

Despite Nicholas not sleeping ANY the night before the party, Tim and I went to the school, as planned, to host the Halloween Day.

The kids LOVED the activities, music and food. They had a wonderful time. Everything went just about as planned with the exception being Isaac's main teacher showing her ass because she wasn't in control of anything. *rolls eyes but I'll explain her later.)

Friday we went to Tim's cousin's house to get some appliances for the apartment. Stove, stackable washer/dryer, dishwasher, a single washer and a weed eater. His cousin has connection with Sears and gets first choice of the repoed items. Tim went to work at 9:00PM. *thanks God*

Saturday, we spent the majority of the day with Joni and the remaining with my mother. Austin spent the night and I'm terribly tired BUT I am going to clean my house and finish laundry today if it kills me.

~*~ UPDATE ~*~
Nicholas has FINALLY cut his first tooth. It is so pretty and pearly white. It is the right bottom front tooth. Awe! I do wonder what the effects will be on my breasts though.

Finally!

2004-10-27T19:46:00.000-04:00

I finally had a decent day. It seems like forever since I was able to sit at home, avoiding the rest of the world and their daily grinds - dreading Fridays when I would have to leave. *sigh* Hopefully soon!

This morning started out normal. I was up at 5:30am, hammering away in the darkness on my keyboard peaking Krug's site. A few last minute changes have definitely set off the site. I was able to work for a full uninterrupted hour, enjoying coffee and smokes as I pleased. Nicholas woke, ate for 5 minutes and went back to sleep, giving me an additional 55 minutes of uninterrupted working time. I only lack a few things that I will finish after I post. I am determined not to skip posting anymore. It just makes me feel so much better. After Isaac was off to school, I called Mom to come over. She had a few files that she needed transferred from paper to digital and finally to an e-mail. This took me all of 30 minutes but I left my keys at her house and Austin had a doctor's appointment that he was already late for so my house cleaning time was regained. I got home moments before Tim arrived, which was seconds from when I needed to leave to decorate Isaac's school for the Halloween Party tomorrow.

All of the parents that volunteered came today with the exception of one and she called telling me that she would definitely attend the party and bring the items that she said she would. We could have used her help this afternoon but I'm glad that she called and will attend tomorrow. The school looks great! Everything is in order for tomorrow. I only have to grab a bag that I've already stuffed with things for Nicholas, 2 rolls of toilet paper and my food coloring gels to tint the whipped cream for the cake. The rolls of toilet paper are for a Mummy Contest. The kids will be divided into two groups, one child in each group will act as the mummy and the kids in their group will wrap him as fast as possible. First team finished wins. I'm thinking the kids will like it.

I did NOTHING for my house today. For those of you that think I am a compulsive cleaner *sticks tongue out* this is proof that you are wrong. *laughs like a naughty witch*

~~it's getting better

Oh happy days...

2004-10-26T19:38:00.000-04:00

You guys missed my happy days so this is gonna be a bitchfest.

I got rid of my cats - both of them. After giving Bing away, Murphy decided that he need not use the litter box in the house. Instead he would use whatever was closest when he had to go. This did not go over well with me. In addition to that, Nicholas's rash didn't get any better so I was convinced that he was allergic to all cats. I finally broke down today and took Murphy to the animal shelter. I am not happy about this either.

I woke up this morning with the skin on on my legs from my knees down to my feet red and swollen from bites. I didn't realize it until after taking Murphy to the shelter. Funny - it looks just like Nicholas's rash. I think its flea bites. Little hitchhikers from my Mom's. *sigh*

I fogged my house today for fleas. Oh Joy. This means I got to clean every surface again. I'm getting good at this and a dear friend, you know who you are, says that I'm a compulsive cleaner. I am not *looks all innocent*.

Tomorrow I get to:

Deal with Tim. He gets home in the morning.

Go pumpkin hunting. I still haven't gotten pumpkins.

Carve pumpkins and clean pumpkin seeds.

Finish cleaning.

Do, oh I dunno, about 10 loads of laundry.

Completely clean my car, like my house.

Go to Isaac's school and decorate for Halloween Day that I refused to let them skip just because the school board has a thing against cake, icecream, anything with sugar, candy, choking hazards, predrawn art for the kids to color, oh and did I mention that it has to be an educational party. You're wondering what kind of party this will be right? Good because you're about to find out.

The Halloween Day
This month's lesson plan includes:

The color orange (yay, my FAVORITE)

The shape triangle (I'm more of a round)

Letters D, E and F

Sense : Touch (learning hot and cold)

So this party, good thing it is Halloween, is required to feature the above lesson plan. This is how I've worked it out.

Decorations:

Pumpkins - uncarved.

Glow in the dark skeletons.

Scarey, not too scare, music in background.

Orange & black streamers.

Witch Pot

Groovy wall hangings.

Food:

Apple Juice (in witch pot)

Salsa and BAKED tortilla chips

Angel Food Cake with Whipped Cream Topping (that will be tinted orange)

Pumpkin Pie

Pumpkin Seeds

Educational Activities:

Hand Ghosts : Black construction paper and white paint. Kids will dip hands in paint and splat them on the paper. We'll hang them upside down (fingers down) and that will be our ghosts.

Pumpkin Carving. I'll be doing this for them with the kids helping clean out the pumpkin goo. We'll bake the seeds for the food part.

Pumpkin Decorating. I plan on purchasing 18 pie pumpkins, one for each of them to decorated with paper, pens, crayons, whatever they want. We'll use TRIANGLES for the eyes and noses.

Story time. Mom is gonna dress like a witch (ha!) and read the kids a story about witches and Halloween.

Party bags featuring assorted none chokeable Halloween toys including 1 glow stick per child and their very own plastic Halloween cup.

Halloween night safety.

Hopefully this will keep the kids busy all day, having fun and actually learning something.

I've been so busy that I haven't had the time or energy to blog. All of this will be changing. I am going to slow down a bit. We're just about done with the site, only working out minor stuff now but here's the link - go order something!
Krug's Lotions 'n More

Domestic Affairs...

2004-10-19T10:17:00.000-04:00

Whew, where do I start? Let's see...

After my last post, I lost internet service for a couple of days due to one of my neighbors doing a shotty job on splicing my dsl cable so that he/she could enjoy my dsl connection for free. Immediately upon losing service, I was on the phone with my provider explaining the problem and it didn't take long to find the problem. I get to go to court over this one. I wasn't told which neighbor it was but I have since posted "NO TRESPASSING" signs throughout my property. This gives me the legal right to go redneck on anyone that steps on my land.

My mom and brother moved in for a week. Tim's Aunt passed away. Tim was home for the same week that my family was here.

Then Isaac went to the denitist again, this time to get his teeth sealed. He has one cavity trying to start on his very last molar on the right side but it technically isn't a cavity yet. Next appointment is to get it filled to prevent it from becoming a cavity.

Nicholas has went to the dermatologist concerning his 2 month long mystery rash. It was determined that he is allergic to pussy. This means that I have to get rid of Bing. Nicholas is only allergic to short hair dander, go figure. His rash won't go away until I rid the house of Bing AND sanitize EVERY surface in my house.

I did some research on the animal control procedures and local cat adoption places and found it best to try and find Bing a home. I was unsuccessful. If I take him to Animal Control, since he doesn't have rabies shot, he will be put to sleep immediately. If I get his rabies shot, he has to stay here for 3 weeks and then Animal Control will give him a week to impress a family enough to take him home or they put him to sleep. Adoption Agencies are overloaded and are turning animals away.

I broke down after another sleepless night with Nicholas scratching himself from itching. I took Bing to Animal Control. My hesistation in the parking lot paid off. I watched a family go in and figured they were there for a dog. I went in with Bing and they fell in love with him. He is scheduled for a rabies shot, the family paid nothing since Bing wasn't admitted into the center and my cat wasn't killed. I'm happy.

I've sanitized EVERY surface in my house: floors, walls, ceilings, fans, furniture, books, objects on the furniture. Take a look at the room you are sitting in. Imagine sanitizing every surface for just a minute. I got to do this to my 10 room house. I haven't made it to the basement yet. Tim has requested that I wait until he gets home.

Now I am working on a customer site. It looks really groovy and can't wait to give a free advertising for the customer. It should be done by tomorrow.

I still haven't found my house payment that I lost. I know for sure that it isn't in the house though.

A not so pleasant childhood memory has resurfaced and I'm in no mood to deal with it or the people bringing it up.

~~It's getting better!

The Stupid Award goes to...

2004-10-11T20:15:00.000-04:00

Me. Yes, this is correct. I did the stupidest thing yesterday and will cost us, literally, an arm and a leg to fix. I officially qualify for the Most Stupid Award because...

First of all, not an excuse of course, I did not sleep at all last night. Mom got back from vacation to find that her house was infested with fleas. Gross right? Of course but she knew that she would have this problem and that is what initiated the vacation. Friday she went to the vet and bought a 200% guaranteed flea fogger to rid her house of fleas. Since you had to be gone for a while when you set the fogger off, she decided to seize the day and go on a relaxing trip to the beach. When she returned, the fleas were 500 times worse and thus she and Austin came to spend the night. Nicholas and I had taken a late nap and I was completely unable to sleep at all last night.

For the most part of the night, I sat here in the dark in front of my computer working away on a client site that is completely finished now with the exception of the graphic design that my graphic design artist is completing. I finished early due to this lack of ability to sleep. Nicholas got up a few times to eat but for the majority of the night, I had completely uninterrupted work time. It was really great. By 5:30am, I was cooking bacon and biscuits for breakfast. I had already enjoyed a pot of coffee alone and at this point, I was feeling great.

It started to hit me after the kids were ready for school and I was driving Austin to school. As any tired driver would, I rolled the window down for a fresh, constant breeze of the crisp morning air directly administered to my face. It worked. In no time I was bright eyed and bushy tailed. Austin was at school on time and I returned promptly home. Upon my arrival, Mom and I researched fleas online. I learned too much about the nasty varmits and this included how to kill them. There is a very specific combination of chemicals needed to be used in a very specific order in which to kill the fleas in under one week. This means that Mom will continue being a roommate and yah know what - I like her being here.

At around lunch time, Mom and I left to get the chemicals and pay my house payment. I usually pay the bills on Friday, when the money is fresh and definitely available after the deposit. I planned to drive the cash payment right up onto the front door step of the people we have purchased the house from. They weren't home Friday, they also went on vacation. The correct thing to do - probably - would have been to deposit the cash, write a check and leave it in an envelope in their mailbox. Did I do this? Of course not. The payment is due on the tenth of every month and I did not want it to be late. My line of thinking was that since they were not home, they couldn't expect it today. I kept the cash so that there would be no hassles for them to receive payment.

Mom and I left home and went to the post office, where I handed her the bank envelope, with the cash payment in it, to exchange it for a Postal Money Order. Would you believe that the Post Office was closed because of Columbus Day? Geez these people will do anything for a day off. Mom got in the car and handed me the bank envelope, with the cash payment in it. I told her that I would have to deposit it so that I could write a check. We proceeded to her house, where she laid her mail down and picked up a frozen chicken for me to cook for dinner. I went in also to try to call the landlord again and they still were not home. Both of us brushed off well and got back in the car to proceed to my landlord's home. We were driving maybe 3 miles when Mom picked a flea off of my face. This was enough for me to pull over and shake off again. I stopped the car, in the middle of the road (remember it is the country) and we jumped out to shake off again. We got back in the car and drove another 3 miles when I again stopped to shake off. The flea population in Mom's house must be at least half in the world. This time we pulled off onto a gravel road and got out to shake off. Finally we arrived at my landlord's house and I took the bank envelope to the front door. After knocking with no response, I brought the bank envelope back to the car and got the check book out. There was no way I was leaving this cash money without a receipt. I wrote the check and put it in their mailbox and got back in the car.

Mom and I, in a time crunch, rushed to get Austin from school. We got there in enough time to wait 5 minutes. Austin got in the car and we went to the hardware store to get the chemicals needed to rid Mom's house of the fleas. My cigarettes were on sale, so Mom purchased a carton for me because I agreed to pay her as soon as we were in the car again - from the cash payment in the bank envelope. When we got back in the locked car, I reached into my pocketbook to get the bank envelope. I reached into it and pulled out a bank receipt. Sure that it was the wrong envelope - I seriously needed to clean out my personal baggage - I reached in again for the correct envelope with no success. The money was gone. Like GONE GONE. I remained calm, thinking that surely it was in the car or my overstuffed pocketbook. No luck.

Mom and I ended up cleaning out the car, my purse and everything in it to find that the bank envelope with the cash payment in it was gone. We back tracked, driving slowly in the event that it had blown out. It may have been the sleep deprivation or possibly the fact that I was not paying enough attention, but I can not remember if, when and where I put the envelope when Mom handed it back to me at the Post Office. I know that I pulled out a bank envelope at the landlord's house but it could have been the same extra one with only a deposit slip in it.

I am devastated. It is hard enough to save for one house payment a month but two? Since then, I've completely back tracked, checking the side of the roads, on every road that we were on, every place that we stopped, cleaned out the car, my purse and my desk (where I KNOW the money was at) with no luck. I haven't found the money. With work slow for me and Tim's money already accounted for, I am lost at how to fix this mistake with the exception of selling my services extremely cheap in order to make it up.

From reading this post, if you can offer any other places to look or refer someone to me that needs a website or graphic design for extremely cheap - please comment.

~Winner of the Most Stupid Award

Something Cute

2004-10-10T23:58:00.000-04:00

A Woman's Life

Every minute, to and fro,
That's the way my hours go,
Bring me this, take me that,
Feed the dog, put out the cat,
Standing up I eat my toast,
Drink my coffee, thaw the roast,
Empty garbage, make the bed,
Rush to church, wash my head,
Sweep the kitchen, wax the floor,
Scrub the woodwork, clean the door,
Scour the bathtub. then myself,
Vacuum carpets, straighten shelves,
Eat a sandwich on the run,
Now my afternoon's begun.

To the soccer game I go,
When will I find time to sew?
Meet the teacher, stop a fight,
See the dentist, change a light,
Help with homework, do the wash,
Iron the clothes, put on the squash,
Shop for groceries, cash a check,
Fight the crowds, now I'm a wreck!

Dinner time it soon will be,
"What's for dinner?" Wait and see!
Dirty dishes fill the sink,
Make some popcorn and a drink,
Will they never go to bed,
Will I never get ahead?
Bring them water, get the light,
Turn off the TV, lock up the bike,
Where's my pillow, say your prayers,
Did you lock the door downstairs?

At last in bed, my spouse and I,
Too tired to talk, too weak to cry,
And in the dark I hear him say...

"WHAT DO WOMEN DO ALL DAY?!?"

~~ It's not a me original

Awe my kids...

2004-10-09T23:22:00.000-04:00

Today was like no other in the house. Since I have Nicholas's rash almost gone, thanks to a very persistent mother and a devoted Pediatrician, he is almost a completely different child. Instead of having to be constantly in my arms, he has found independence and this allowed for a sorefree arm day. Wait though, this isn't all that I found behind door number one to my home.

Although potty training went smooth and fast after the purchase of the PODS, however we have had a problem with going number two. Since he didn't get burned with number two on his PODS, he just won't take the time to sit on the toilet. It has been a daily battle in the land of poo and, quite frankly, I'm tired of it. While I cleaned the kitchen today, I noticed that Isaac had gotten very quite. Due to the fact that my Eric Clapton CD was jamming in the living room, I thought he may be in there dancing. Upon checking he was not there. With the basement door locked, doors leading outside locked and no other way for him to get out, I decided to let him have his independence. This quietness from Isaac did not last long. He yelled for me and I didn't rush to him because it didn't sound like a HELP so he came to me. With his tiny whitey tighties around his ankles he rushed carefully into the kitchen and yelled, "Mommy, come look, I made you a turd." I almost died laughing but, with great interest, took his hand so that he could lead me to this said turd. Once in the bathroom, Isaac showed me a fairly large turd in the toilet under a massive amount of toilet paper. I jumped up and down, gave him a huge kiss, cheered for him and proceeded cleaning the mess. Poor thing - he tried so hard and succeeded but I had a huge mess in the bathroom now. There was poo all over my loo seat - this did not go over well with me as I started cleaning immediately. One small step for potty training and a giant leap in the sanitation department of Household S.

After bath time, story time and bed time - the kids are all snug in their beds and I retired early having tomorrow's dinner in the crock pot, coffee pot on automatic timer to brew my joe in the early morning and be ready when I rise, and an absolutely fabulous looking house. I may not have to clean tomorrow! Well, with the only exception being the floor. Ya'll know I can't stand anything sticking to my feet. Tim's arrival tomorrow is greatly anticipated and I can't wait to wrap my arms around his neck and choke him for getting me a CB Radio for HIS big truck for our wedding anniversary. What did I get him? A 30 inch gold (diamond braided) necklace featuring 3 small but manly and meaningful charms - 2 gold bands (for Isaac and Nicholas) and Audrey's actual birthstone ring. He's on my shit list. No ass for him!

Look At My List

2004-10-08T15:58:00.000-04:00

As you may, or may not know, I have to have a list for everything that requires my attention. Not just a list, a detailed list, more like a very elaborate note taker. I can not just write down the things that I need to do on a piece of paper. I have to put them in order, as I need to do them, different sheets for different tasks. This order also involves a very detailed report as to how I need to accomplish this item on my list. If I were normal, I'd take a picture of my list today and you could see it first hand but my handwriting is such that you, dear reader, would never be able to read the things on the list. The following is an attempt to exactly mimic my handwritten list into a digital replica of the same list.

To Do

Cleaning:

~~Bathroom:~~
~~toilet~~
~~bottom~~

~~rim~~

~~bowl~~

~~inner seat~~

~~lid~~

~~top & sides~~

~~disinfect handles~~

~~shower~~
~~seat~~

~~soap holder~~

~~doors~~

~~walls & floor~~

~~rearrange bottles~~

~~mat~~

~~disinfect handles>~~

~~vanity~~
~~rearrange inside~~

~~doors & cabinet~~

~~top~~

~~sink~~

~~disinfect handles~~

~~mirror~~

~~Isaac's Room~~
~~remove bed linen & replace~~

~~under beds~~

~~rearrange dresser drawers~~

~~closet~~

~~pack & remove Justin's clothes~~

~~toys~~

~~vacuum rug~~

~~remove rug, sweep & mop floor~~

~~disinfect light switches, toys, dresser drawer handles & tv remote buttons~~

~~Nicholas's Room~~
~~remove bed linen & replace~~

~~under beds~~

~~rearrange dresser drawers~~

~~closet~~

~~pack clothes that are too small~~

~~toys~~

~~vacuum rug~~

~~remove rug, sweep & mop floor~~

~~disinfect light switches, toys & dresser drawer handles~~

~~Our Room~~
~~remove bed linen & replace~~

~~under bed~~

~~reorganize dresser drawers~~

~~closet~~

~~unpack coats & hang in living room closet~~

~~remove, disinfect and put toys in proper place~~

~~vacuum rug~~

~~remove rug, sweep & mop floor~~

~~disinfect light switches, dresser drawer handles, telephone, answering machine & tv remote control buttons~~

spray something in Tim's shoes *gross*

~~Living Room~~
~~Dust~~
~~nicknacks~~

~~pictures~~

tv

~~mantel~~

~~glass shelves~~

~~Videos~~
~~realphebetize~~

~~disinfect light switches, toys & tv remote control buttons~~

~~Couch~~
~~remove cushions & vacuum~~

~~remove & replace cover~~

~~Floor~~
~~sweep~~

~~mop~~

~~Water Flowers~~

While Out:
~~For Tim~~
~~pick-up & deposit check~~

~~check Post Office Box~~

~~For Kids~~
~~pick up Nicholas's prescription~~

~~Pay Bills~~
~~mail house payment~~

~~pay for oil delivery~~

~~Get Online & Pay~~
~~electricity~~

~~telephone~~

~~cellphone~~

~~Tim's life insurance~~

~~The kid's life insurance~~

~~accept & submit email about online subscription of newspaper~~

That was my list for up to 2:30pm, it was a slow day. As you can see by the strikes, I finished my list thus far. I lack a couple of more things, mainly cleaning, but Nicholas is in a cuddling mood and well, this was supposed to be my rest day! Later, I will end my day with baths for everyone, now that is a list, stories, bedtime and finally I can get some real work done on a client site.

~~*yawn*

Ah

2004-10-07T20:33:00.000-04:00

I feel as though I have been living the life of someone else the last two weeks. I am normally a home body, one who stays as close to home as possible - scheduling everything on the same day so that everything can be over with on one day outing. I like home. At home, I know where everything is, I don't have people bumping into me, the phone barely rings, no one ever comes to the door, I can walk around in my underwear in peace, I can sleep just about any time that I want to, if I am hungry I don't have to wait in line behind dumbasses that can't decide what they want to eat and I am absolutely in control at all time.

Instead of my daily grind of cleaning and playing with Nicholas, I've been in town for at least two hours everyday or someone has been to the house, preventing me from being my normal hermit but happy self. Between doctor appointments, my car needing the attention of a mechanic, Isaac's school and surprise visits from miscellaneous family members, I have not been able to rest. I haven't had a nap in two weeks. Enough is enough and tomorrow I rest! After sending Isaac off to school for a merry day of learning, I will crawl back in bed with Nicholas and we will stay there only pausing for food and potty breaks. The phone is coming off of the hook, the doors will remain locked and I will stay in my pj's all day. I almost can not wait.

Saturday will be filled with domestic affairs, being that I am the president (no wait, I am the only domestic affair agent) I will clean the house, make the kids happy, answer the phone and door. Damn I just remembered that I will have to dress tomorrow. Geez! I will have to go get Tim's check, deposit it and send the house payment off. Grr. *rolls eyes*

~~damn it!

all is well..

2004-10-04T21:41:00.000-04:00

Well, mostly, all is well.

The day after Nicholas's accident, I went to the local hardware store and bought a $65.00 door assembly that automatically locks when closed and requires a key to open. I'm sure this will prevent this accident again and I can't believe it didn't break our bank account. It is a special order and will take up to 2 weeks to get here. Until then, the basement is off limits and everyone knows it.

Nicholas is great. His little bruises and bumps are just about gone. At first, I refused to allow him in his walker again. Instead, I put him on a pallet on the floor and listened to him fuss about not having mobility. Then he figured out how to wiggle where ever he wanted to, which happened to be to his walker. He tried pulling his self up onto the walker but it almost overturned and had it not been for my over-protective eye, it would have caused another accident. I tried moving it into another room - this didn't work either - as big brother wanted to help little brother by bringing it to him. Finally, I caved and allowed Nicholas back in his walker, he was glad to be back in it and spent the majority of the afternoon exploring his house. This has sent up red flags on everything for me. I've become a safety specialist and are in the motions to purify everything in the house for the general safety of the kids while they are within the walls or on the premises.

Isaac went to his very first dentist appointment today. I can not explain this child's strength when it comes to something that he is sure he isn't going to do. He was fine in the lobby and happy to see other children. I've never seen a dentist's office quite set up the way this place was but it was a group setting with 6 teeth cleaning areas - all exposed to one another. Isaac carefully watched a 4 year old scream, scratch and kick the entire time the dentist worked on him. Even though there were 5 other happy patients, Isaac was convinced that the doctor or anyone that looked like one was going to touch him. It took 3 people to put Isaac in a papoose to bring him under control. The rest of the visit sounded something like this...

Isaac - "I want my Gran*gurgling noise*"
Dentist Assistant cleaning his teeth - "Spit Isaac" as she used the suction thing on him.

Isaac - "I want my Gran*gurgling noise*"
Dentist Assistant cleaning his teeth - "Spit Isaac"

Isaac - "I want my Gran*gurgling noise*"
Dentist Assistant cleaning his teeth - "Spit Isaac"

Isaac - "I want my Gran*gurgling noise*"
Dentist Assistant cleaning his teeth - "Spit Isaac"

She got him every time he went to say Grandma. He opened his mouth wide with the pronunciation of "grand" and she seized the opportunity. I fetched Grandma. After a short inspection and even though Isaac can not stand to eat without brushing his teeth afterward, it was discovered that Isaac has 4 cavities starting on his bottom, lower molars. Yeah *said sarcastically* that means more dental appointments.

In between appointments, Tim and I spent the day, in a joint effort but in two different cities, to find parts for our Kia, that overheated last week thus not driven in over a week now. We finally found the part and it will arrive tomorrow - just in time for Tim to fix our car so that he can go to work. I can't wait to get my wheels back and suddenly I realize how Nicholas feels.

~Me, I'm exhausted but not complaining.

my heart stopped today...

2004-09-30T21:48:00.000-04:00

The following post is extremely emotional, involves very personal information and features a little more graphic language than you, dear reader, are accustomed to. Those with weak hearts, stomachs or tender-eared beings should not read this post.

This morning went smoothly, Isaac went to school feeling great about his self and his health. Nicholas and I cleaned the house and gathered laundry to wash tomorrow. About noon, we laid down cuddled together, under his new quilt, and slept peacefully until the alarm sounded at 2:00 PM. Nicholas remained asleep and I got up to wake up a little before the bus came, bringing Isaac home at 2:30 PM. When Isaac got here, he ate as he watched television. The programming on Isaac's televisions are educational channels only. He was learning about snakes and commenting on how gross they looked. Shortly after, we all sat down together on Isaac's couch and read a book and hung out, like we usually do after school. At 4:30 PM, a shit pain came over my body. I locked the doors on the front of the house as well as the basement door and put Nicholas in his walker. I turned on the television and left them to go 10 foot away to the bathroom.

I heard Isaac shaking the door that goes to the basement. Tim installed a hook and eye lock to the top of the basement door when we moved in the house, as recommended by child safety experts. As soon as I heard him pulling on the door, I yelled at him and told him to stop, that as soon as I got finished, I would open the door for him. The noise stopped. 1 minute later and just as I was wiping my ass, I heard something going down the basement steps. I hurried because Nicholas was in his walker, assuming that Isaac was the noise I heard going down the stairs, and I didn't want him to have the opportunity to go down the steps his self in the walker. I rounded the corner leading to the basement door when Nicholas started screaming from the bottom of the steps. I swear I didn't even touch a step on the way down. Nicholas was laying on the floor on his stomach and the walker was a good foot away from his body, upside down. I freaked out. I carefully got Nicholas up, as to not further damage anything that was already damaged, and began loving on him as I instructed Isaac, who was on the riding lawn mower, to get upstairs now. Isaac didn't resist and did as he was told, telling me all of the way up the 20 stairs that he was sorry that he left the door open. I tried calling the doctor's office immediately but Nicholas was screaming so that I couldn't even hear the voice prompts of the automated voice system. I hung up and called Mom. She couldn't hear what I was saying for Nicholas's shrieks so she hung up and came over instantly.

My car is in the shop. It began overheating before Tim went to work and it has been in the shop every since. I have no transportation at all, with the exception of my mother.

While I waited for Mom to get here, I walked, patted, 'shhh'ed, rocked and tried my best from getting upset, for Nicholas's sake. He usually likes the outdoors, so I told Isaac to put his shoes on and we went into the front yard. I kept an eagle eye on Isaac as I pointed out the sky, birds, clouds and passing cars to Nicholas. Eventually, he calmed down to the point that he wasn't screaming constantly. He let out a yelp every so often but there were breaks in between them. I could handle this.

A span of 10 minutes passed before Mom got here. I was an emotional wreck as she pulled into the driveway. The car wasn't even in park before she jumped out demanding to know what happened. You would have to meet my Mom but she is probably like your Mom, loud; over protective at times and in charge of everything. Those happen to by my favorite traits by the way. I gave her a briefing and passed Nicholas to her to keep her from going into an emotional shock. I ran back inside of the house to call the doctor's office:

"Good Afternoon, this is S, how can I help you?"

"This is April, my son Nicholas, 5 months old, just fell down a flight of stairs in his walker and I need to know if I can bring him in or if I need to go to the emergency room."

"Um, hold on and I'll transfer you to triage."

*transferred to a voicemail*
*I hang up, completely appalled and dialed again*

"Good Afternoon, this is S, how can I help you?"

"This is April, you stupid fucking bitch, my son is 5 months old and just fell down a fucking FLIGHT of stairs, not one or two stairs but twenty. I don't have time to talk to your ignorant ass or a fucking voice mail, I need to the speak with Dr. D NOW. Do you think you can handle that?"

*hold music*

"April, this is S, Dr. D says for you to bring him in as soon as you can get here."

*I hung up*

We piled in Mom's car and drove straight to the doctor's office. As soon as I got into the lobby, I went to the window to check in. The glass was closed and the chicks behind that glass were bullshitting about something that was not important. I tapped on the glass. The chick sitting closest to the window held her index finger up, signaling me to wait a minute.

"Fuck you bitch, do your job and quit gossiping."

I immediately turned around and went into the door that leads to the patient rooms. Several people tried to stop me but after they saw my face and the expression it had on it, no one dared. I went straight to Dr. D's desk, she looked up from her papers and stood up quickly, she showed me into and room and told me that as soon as she washed her hands, she would be in. She was. She looked him over, checking his arms and legs, fingers and toes, then finally in his ear. She told me that if it were a concussion, blood would be in his ears. There was no blood but to be on the safe side, she wanted me to go to the emergency room to have a CT Scan and X-Rays done. She called ahead as I went out of the door of the office building on my way to the hospital.

Mom and the boys, Austin and Isaac, sat in the car waiting for me. Mom can control them better, together, while they are in seat belts. It was a good thing too because we had no time to waste. The hospital is 5 minutes away from the doctor's office but it seemed like an hour.

She drove up where the ambulances go in, Nicholas and I got out of the car and went straight in. No paperwork was filed and we were shipped instantly into a room. It so happened to be the same room that Audrey was put in as the staff tried to revive her. It was the same bed. I couldn't touch it and stayed near the door, refusing to place Nicholas in the exact same bed that Audrey was declared dead on. It was there that I began to pray. I do not pray. I have religion and believe but do not partake in the social bullshit that is expected when you are religious. I do not attend church and haven't for years but I prayed. I prayed to God that if Nicholas were alright, I would go to church and its events, every one of them from now on.

We waited for 2 minutes before the ER doctor came in. He gave the same brief exam that Dr. D did and instructed me to follow him to the CT Scan room. Two nurses stood, waiting on us, to strap Nicholas into a papoose to hold his little body still while the internal pictures were being taken. The nurses left and entered the adjoining room that had a window to see into the room that we were in. We communicated through an intercom system. Nicholas was really upset, still, even before the papoose, but was straight up pissed off that now he was fully restrained.

"April, do you have a pacifier for Nicholas?"

"Nope."

"I am going to send a nurse up to the second floor to get him one, okay?"

"No need, he won't take it."

"Do you happen to have a bottle?"

"No, he is breastfed."

*the doctor walks into the room with the two nurses*

"Doctor, April isn't cooperating with us, she refuses Nicholas to have a pacifier and she didn't think to bring a bottle."

*she forgot to turn off the intercom"

"Excuse me you stupid bitch. I am a mother, with an infant child and no diaper bag. If that isn't plain enough, I've told you twice now that he is breastfed. He will not take a pacifier and even if he would, it would confuse him when he takes the breast the next time. If you can't do your job, move aside and call someone that can but please quit making excuses as to why you are dragging your ass while my son is strapped onto a board screaming - where it so happens that I can not comfort him."

*intercom is turned off*

It took about 10 minutes for the doctor to get the pictures that he needed. He sent the nurse away and told her not to let me see her, ever. Nicholas was still strapped in the papoose as he was moved to X-Ray, a couple of doors down. He was laid on the table and the lab technician hurried to get the x-rays. A total of 20 minutes in the papoose, Nicholas was coming out one way or another. He allowed the x-rays to be taken but as soon as the technician said, "that's it, we got them," Nicholas removed his legs from that papoose and was struggling to get his arms out. I stepped up the same time that the technician did and we quickly removed Nicholas from the papoose. He, immediately, quieted down and found himself content on my breast, sucking happily.

I was instructed to sit in a chair in the hallway while the pictures from the scan and x-ray were reviewed. A man who passed me in the hall stopped, turned around and looked at me.

"April?"

"Yes."

"Hi, remember me? Think 10 years ago and a lot more hair on my head."

"Kevin?" I was completely stunned. I went to school with this guy in MIDDLE SCHOOL for about 1 year (remember I was quiet) and he remembered me.

"You got it. What are you doing here?"

"Lost story but I'm waiting for the slow ass scan/x-ray reader to look at my scans to tell me if my child is okay."

*he giggled*

"Sorry about that, I am that slow ass. Give me enough time to look them over thoroughly. Had I known it was you, I would have ran after receiving the page."

I was really flattered, NOT, I am a concerned mother, not a school girl interested in a balding geek! Surely he can pick better times to hit on someone. About 10 minutes later, Kevin came out of his office and told me that he was finished and the ER doctor was on his way, for Nicholas and me to come in and get cozy.

"You have a beautiful baby, looks just like you."

"Thanks."

"Wow, would you look at those eyes, gorgeous, just like yours."

"Listen Kevin, any other time I would probably be flattered at your comments, however, at this moment in time, I am very concerned about my child. I think it is important for you to also know that I have my own balding husband and there is not room in our lives for another, short of our children. Can we please just cut the bullshit?"

"Whoa, you haven't changed."

"I don't mean to be rude but the only reason I am talking to you at all is because you are the only one that can tell me what, if anything, is wrong with Nicholas. So why don't you just tell me right now."

*ER doctor enters*

"Because he is waiting on me, which he isn't anymore, so give it to us - how's the tot?"

"I have reviewed the CT Scans as well as the x-rays and I have found no fractures, breaks, chips or calcium deposits on any of his bones. Further more, his CT Scan reveals no signs of internal bleeding, irregular brain activity or infected areas. To insure accuracy, I've sent the documents to a colleague who will report anything to me. I will call you either way with the results from his evaluation. However, Nicholas does have the beginning stages of a sinus infection."

"Good deal, come on April."

"Thanks Kevin."

"Oh, its my job April. The ironic part is that I had to wait 13 years and your child take a serious fall for me to finally get your number."

"Ha, call me for any other reason but the results from your colleague and I will put a restraining order on you for harassment, as well as sue you for improper use of medical records and breech of patient/doctor relationship."

"Fair enough."

We were put back in the room to await more results when Erica came waltzing in. She came with two drinks, one of which I immediately grabbed. I was so thirsty. Apparently, mom called her and requested that she come to help with the boys but Erica could not find her in the parking lots and decided to track me down first. One of the drinks were for Mom. Erica took Nicholas from me and ask me to find Mom and take her the drink. I ran, literally, outside and straight to Mom, handed her the drink and told her that Erica was with Nicholas. She told me that Tim called and was very upset that I didn't call him. Tim is a thousand miles away, maneuvering an 18-wheeler through Las Vegas traffic during peak time. Why would I call him before I could tell him what, if anything, was wrong with Nicholas? I rolled my eyes at Mom and called Tim, updating him on what I knew thus far and explaining what happened. In between breaths, I sucked a cigarette down. When I got off of the phone, I told Mom that Erica would be out to relieve her as soon as I returned and I ran back into Nicholas. I was only gone for 5 minutes but he screamed the entire time. Once he was in my arms, he quieted down and I was able to tell Erica where Mom was, she left and Mom came into the room. We took turns holding him, mostly to comfort ourselves. I still refused to lay him on the bed. Shortly after, the doctor returned and said that everything was fine, give him tylenol for pain every 4 hours and start the already prescribed Zythromax but most importantly not to let Nicholas be in walker without my full attention on him.

Nicholas is fine, a little banged up with several bruises and knots but nothing internally wrong and no open wounds. It was too late tonight but first thing in the morning, after Isaac and Austin are off to school, I will be visiting the neighborhood hardware store for an automatic locking, key required to open, lock for the basement door, as well as any other safety device required to ensure that my kids won't get hurt while I take a shit. We will be the first in church on Sunday, as I will keep my promise to God since he kept his to me.

~~not feeling plucky at all, lucky fits though.

2004-09-29T23:06:00.000-04:00

Nicholas's Quilt - my very first

Introducing my best friend Misty...

2004-09-29T14:44:00.000-04:00

Due to my earlier post, I feel it necessary to explain Misty...

My parents moved us to Mount Airy, North Carolina, in February of 1992. It was cold and snowing and very different from where we came from, Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. In Myrtle Beach, the sun ALWAYS shines and it is almost always over 60 degrees. I hated Mount Airy and North Carolina. I wanted nothing more than to get away from such a redneckville filled with toothless, illiterate, weird talking people.

My first day at my new school was a disaster. I hadn't yet mastered the art of my attitude that so nicely compliments my personality. I was confusing to people because I spoke proper and dressed as if I were a business woman going to work. I was labeled outcast as soon as I walked through the doors of my new school. The looks were, well, horrible. The next couple of days was not much better. I hadn't smiled in days and everyone could tell, at home and school, that I was not a happy camper. I remember one of the "popular" girls commenting on me, "She looks like she could kill you with her eyes, she is definitely not getting in our group." At hearing this my comment was, "fuck you sweetheart, I wouldn't place myself in your group for all of the money that you daddy makes selling your mother." My statement was enough to keep any prospect friends away. Numerous rumors scattered and I was miserable but found it amusing that no one would so much ask me where I was from or even look at me once I found them doing so. I got the most looking in band. I played the clarinet like a bird sings and everyone would whisper that I was too good to be in the school band. My music teacher was thoroughly impressed and used me as an example on how the other kids should take music more seriously. Blah. Misty was a flute player - in the last seat I mind you (that's like the oh-you-cant-really-play-so-we'll-put-you-on-the-end-and-hopefully-everyone-else-will-drown-you-out-seat). It so happens that on the front row of a full ensemble the clarinets sit beside the flutes. I sat second chair (not for long) between a chick with an afro and a different chick that seriously needed a bath. Our music teacher was flipping out on the trumpets on my third day there. She made this comment, "I bet April could play it better than you with your own instrument." Being the smartass that I am, I spoke up and said, "of course I can, shall I prove it?" The look on the teacher's face was priceless and I did prove that I could play the trumpet, then the flute, sax, trombone and percussion. After percussion, I told the teacher that if she had any style woodwind, I could also play it as well as the french horn and tuba. After that, no one would even look at me. It was almost as I was invisible. The bus rides home were the worst. People would sit 3 to a bench seat just to avoid having to sit beside me. That third day home, my life changed for forever.

Accustomed to having my own seat, I stretched my legs out and began reading in the bus seat. Shortly after, Misty flopped down on my knees, almost buckling them. I looked up at her with evil eyes and she said, "I don't care how scary your eyes are, what instruments you can play or how much you know about everything." I kept my look and responded, "fuck you." She got the most surprised look on her face and said, "well, thanks for the offer but I haven't even had a boy yet." I rolled my eyes down to focus on my book again. The brave little Misty took my book and introduced herself.

"I'm Misty and yes, I just took your book. I live on Myrtle Drive and you're from Myrtle Beach. You live on Louise Avenue and my Granny's name is Louise. You're in the band and I'm in the band. You have an annoying little brother and so do I. So we have lots in common and I think we should be friends."

"yeah right," I responded.

Every since then, it has always been Misty and April. We lived only a mile away from eachother and would walk halfway each to meet. In the middle was two ponds. We would sit on the bank and talk about school, boys and anything else that was on our mind. Actually, she did most of the talking. I've always been the more silent one and she can't shut up. We did mostly everything together until she hit 16 and I turned 15. She got pregnant and moved away at the same time that I was accepted into the North Carolina School of the Arts, majoring in Music btw *wink*. She went to Oklahoma with her Mom to carry and have the baby and I went to live in a dorm with people I didn't know. We called for the first few months but soon she began busy with being pregnant and I got busy with my new life. She called me one day toward the end of my pregnancy and left this message on my machine.

April, I hope that you are going home this weekend because I've sent a very special package that will spoil if you are not there to open it. Hope that you like it. Talk to you again soon."

I immediately called home and ask my parents to come get me that weekend and explained Misty's message to them. My mom did not like Misty and that was no secret. She thought Misty would influence me to do bad girl things, like getting pregnant at 16. I suspected nothing when I arrived home. I went into my old room that still looked the same before hitting the television downstairs. It couldn't have been 15 minutes later, long enough for her Papa to drive her to my house and drop her off, that someone knocked on the door. Mom yelled down that she would get it, it was probably a religious person with a booklet. I heard her open the door and then whispering. It was Misty. She waddled her little fat, pregnant body into the house and yelled, "SURPRISE." I looked up at her and said, "where's your bow?" We caught up on things and she left. We saw eachother a few times after that.

I remember seeing Dakota (her first baby) for the first time. He was so small and noisy. I ask her how she dealt with it and she did not respond. I couldn't get over the fact that he was so beautiful. Until that moment, I never wanted children. She was 16 and still a kid herself when Dakota was 2 weeks old. She wasn't through with being a kid and signed Dakota over to her mother and her husband to raise as their own. A part of me never forgave her for that. I only personally know 1 person, my Aunt, that hasn't lost their first born one way or another - either by death or giving them up. Sad isn't it?

It was years before I saw her again. I had graduated and she moved on. The next time we saw each other, Tim and I were living in a tiny place in Mount Airy. Out of curiosity, I called her Papa's house and ask for her. She was there. We agreed on a place to meet and so began our relationship again. We had glorious nights on the town, in Tim's sports car, spending Tim's money and being good girls trying to be bad. We were never bad. We did experiment with a few illegal substances but none ever stuck on us. We were happy just being together, riding with the t-tops out and jamming to Lynard Skynard. Every where we went, people would look at us. I was a tall, long haired - hippy looking redhead and she was a short blonde with a large chest. Guys never stood a chance with me, I had Tim. It wasn't long before she met her future husband. At the time, he seemed like a great guy.

Jamie was an our age fellow with a good job, a new truck and completely head over heels for Misty. He didn't care that she had a past and she didn't ask questions about him. They were cute together and we enjoyed double dating. One day, Jamie decided that he didn't like my influence on Misty. She was forbid to talk to me. It must have been a hell of a choice for her. She chose both but me whenever she could fit me in. We sneaked around for the longest.

The morning that I lost Audrey, Misty was on the phone with me. She heard my shrieks and told me to hang up on her and call 9-1-1. I couldn't move. She hung up on me and called them herself. They arrived in the nick of time to save my life. For that I will never be able to repay Misty. She met me at the hospital and held my hand as the doctor told me about Audrey. Misty was pregnant and terrified but toughed it out for me. She rode home with me and left me at my Mom's to go nextdoor to my house and rid it of any reminders laying around. She packed all of Audrey's things (bottles, dirty clothes, shoes, toys, baby books) in Audrey's room and closed the door. It was over a year before I opened that door again. She poured my drinks when I was too messed up to pour them. Drinking eased the pain. She took care of me when Tim went back to work and I wasn't myself. Jamie complained and she told him to get lost. He waited patiently for her, trying to understand. Those days are still blurry to me but she was there until I could function well enough to care for myself. I was devastated. I wonder what it did to her to see me like that. I was the quiet but strong one. We never talk about Audrey, to this day.

Over the course of the last 4 years, either Jamie or Tim have forbid our relationship, taking turns. We both ignore our husbands and meet occasionally. She now has 2 children, Bryson (4) and Zach (3). I have opinions about her husband that I will not wait to share. He is the lowest life on Earth that there is. After Misty and Jamie married, he began faking seizures and used them as an excuse to work. He has only done odd jobs with no future for work. He cheats on her. He hits her. He doesn't help her with the kids. He won't even watch the kids for her to work. I don't know why she is still with him but I wouldn't piss on him if he were on fire, I'd probably add gas just to see how high I could get the flames. She loves him so much, I don't understand it. They survive by Misty's Papa, who gives them everything they need and most of what they want. It is sad really. Her house is rarely clean, by clean I mean you can't get in the door without stepping on something - toys, trash, old food. She refuses to clean it for him to bring his friends over and them trash the house, I understand but damn. I can't visit her in her house without cleaning it, which gets on her nerves and gives us away. Because she never cleans, if Jamie comes home (from fishing, hunting or hanging out with his friends) and the house is clean, he knows that I've been there.

Misty has seen me go from the person that made every one laugh to the person that I am today. I still make people laugh but it is a very select group. She witnessed my change after Audrey. She truly understand me and is the only person alive that has seen me cry. She has watched while I've beat people into a pulp (including my own sister because she jumped Misty). Misty is like an old shirt for me - comfortable but ragged and too sentimental to throw away. I can't wait for the day that she grows up and Jamie grows up and they have something besides a mess for a marriage. Misty knows all of my secrets and has kept most of them to herself. That I know of, she has never told anyone how much I drank - even though she has witnessed me drink over a gallon of whiskey in a night. I don't know that I'd trust her with new information (not that I have any) but she keeps me to her self and that is the way that I prefer it.

~~damn my fingers are tired.

2 sides, no words and illness...

2004-09-29T07:41:00.000-04:00

Isaac went off to school today, as usual. He had no complaints to share with me about his body or the way he felt. He was coughing a little more than I like so I looked at his throat, ask him if he felt good, gave him some allergy medicine and sent him to school due to his throat being normal and his answer being "yes Momma." I spoke with the assistant teacher when Isaac got on the bus and told her that he was coughing some and I had given him Zytec. I went on the explain that Zytec wears Isaac down and he will not want to move around much. At about 10:30am, Isaac's teacher calls me.

"Isaac has been coughing his little head off all morning and just isn't his self. I tried taking his temperature but we only have two ancient ones and both say 'rectal' on them. I'm sure that he has a fever." She explained and really sounded sincere.

"I told Ms. T this morning that I gave Isaac Zytec due to his cough. I gave him Zytec because I am sure that this is allergy related. I will bring you a digital themometer and we will check his temperature. If he is running a temperature, there is more than allergies going on. Ask him if his head hurts." I said.

"I don't know why his head would hurt but I'll ask him." Short pause. "He says that his head does not hurt. I really hate for you to get out in this weather just to check his temperature.." I stopped her.

"A child's well being is no bother to me, for my own child or some one else's. The reason I ask you if his head hurt is because if their head hurts, they have a fever and it came on suddenly - he could have meningitis. I've seen it before in my own brother and sickness is not something that I by pass. I'll be there in a few minutes." I hung up, dressed Nicholas warmly and we got in the car. Tim didn't know what was going on, so I explained on the way.

If we went to the drug store and I bought a 10 second digital themometer and a box of probe covers for it. Then we drove to the school. Tim and Nicholas sat in the car while I went in. I handed the digital themometer to Ms. T and told her that it belonged to the class. As she was thanking me, Ms. J said that they couldn't have a themometer like that because it had to have the covers too. I handed Ms. J the box of probe covers and smiled. I ask where the rubber gloves were located and got a quick response. I put the gloves on and proceeded to open the box, get the themometer, put a probe cover on it and check Isaac's temperature. As I placed it under his arm, Ms. J told me that there was something special to do if I took his temperature there but she couldn't remember what. I told her that if you take a temperature with an oral themometer in the armpit, you had to add 1 degree to the finished temperature. She ask how I knew and I explained that I was a nurse and Isaac did have a fever so I was taking him to the doctor. I swooped him, his baby, his blanket and his book bag up and carried them to the car. Tim buckled him in while I called the doctor's office.

At first, the doctor's office said that there wasn't any appointments until day after tomorrow. I reminded the receptionist who I am before I said, "I am coming to the office with both of my children. You can either give me an appointment to be seen or I will bypass you all together and go straight to their doctors." It wasn't long before she offered me a 12:00 noon appointment. That was thirty minutes away, we really had to shake a leg.

At the doctor's office, Isaac and Nicholas were said to have allergies and probably caused due to the hurricanes bringing so much foreign things in the air from Florida. To be on the safe side, he wanted to give them both an antibiotic in the event that mucus turned to green. This way I wouldn't have to come in again if I didn't want to. I called the school and let them know. We filled the prescriptions and went to my best friend's house to get Isaac's old car seat.

Misty and I have been best friends for 13 years now. She isn't the brightest crayon in the box and certainly doesn't offer me any as a friend, not even loyalty. There is a longer story about this but I will post on it later. Misty is the hardest person in the world to catch. She is a road rambler and always has been. She is never at home and that is hard for me to understand. Her kids also go to school, so I knew she would be home at 2:00PM because the kids get out at 2:30PM. We pulled up in her driveway and I went to the door. Her husband answered the door after 3 minutes of my knocking. He opened the door and said, "let me guess, you're here to get the car seat."

"Yep," I said annoyed.

"Misty, you were right, she is here for the car seat." He yelled through the house before explaining to me, "she knew that's what you were here for and since she doesn't have it, she was going to not answer the door."

"I see." I said, even more annoyed.

Misty eventually came outside, where I was waiting as patiently as possible. She gave me a sob story about where the car seat was and I wasn't hearing it.

"It's like this Misty. I want my car seat. Nicholas's legs have to be bent in his carry car seat and that makes him uncomfortable. So because of your neglect of something that I let you borrow, my child is suffering. I don't give a damned who has my car seat, I want it. Now. So give me the number of the stupid motherfucker who took my car seat from you so that I can call him and get it back."

She sighed deeply and gave me the number. In the background, her husband was telling her not to let me handle it. I dialed the number on my cellphone as she gave it to me. She ask for the phone to talk with them first. She turned her back and talked for a few minutes and ask if I could get the car seat back. I'm not sure what deal she made but it didn't sound good for her. She handed me the phone back and said some more bullshit but that I would need to call the number back later and talk to Donna about the car seat. So be it. I called later and spoke with Donna. She was helpful and understanding and went on to explain that Misty had her green car seat and she would need it back if she were to give me mine back. I told her that I was getting my car seat back and she would just have to track Misty down to get hers back. She agreed and gave me directions to her house. I'll be going tomorrow afternoon.

Dinner was ready when we got home. I had started vegetable soup in the crock pot early this morning and all that was left to do was make grilled cheese sandwiches to go with it. Within 5 minutes of being home, everyone had a bowl of soup and a sandwich. It has turned colder here, faster than normal. The snow isn't far, I can tell. We are going to have a hard winter.

~~worried about my kids

and so it was late...

2004-09-25T22:12:00.000-04:00

Tim's official birthday was Thursday, September 23. He was 39 years old. Since he was working, he got his birthday present (a dvd player and surround sound system)early and today he got his birthday dinner. It doesn't matter what I cook, it is always his favorite. Tonight I cooked a meatloaf that melted in our mouths, stewed potatoes, peas and carrots and biscuits, of course, all homemade. In addition to dinner I spent the majority of the morning baking his cake. I made the cake and icing from scratch as well as decorated it myself. I bought fresh cut flowers and did the table up super nice for him. When we returned from picking Tim up from work, as soon as we opened the door, you could smell the treats. All of the way up the basement stairs, Tim guessed what he was having for his birthday dinner. He was never further from the truth but he enjoyed it none-the-less. Here are some pictures.

First the table...

A close up of the cake...

Feeling very domestic from the day of made-from-scratch cooking, I decided to give quilt making a whirl. I'm making a quilt for Nicholas that will measure 60 inches square. It has 5 basic prints of fabric in a red, light blue, dark blue, yellow plaid and yellow with blue flowers. I picked these fabrics for a specific reason.
The red is to represent my love for Nicholas. The light blue and dark blue for the colors in his eyes and yellow for happiness. I am finished with a little over half of the piecing together. Once all of the pieces are together, batting, binding and finishing are to be done. Hopefully, I'll have it done by Monday.

~~domesticated

screaming madly...

2004-09-22T17:27:00.000-04:00

Today, Nicholas and I helped escort 18 children, including Isaac, to the county fair. This is Isaac's first experience with the fair as well as most of the kids in his class. At first they were all scared of the rides, then a few got to like them and finally no one wanted to get off and would scream madly when it was time to get off of the rides. I can not express the pain in my head after the multiple screams of 200+ children for 4 hours straight. The sun was glaring, I overdressed and since the concessions were not open yet, I remained hungry. The kids had snacks and bag lunches. Isaac tried to share his sandwich with me, what a sweet heart right? Ha!

Not all was lost, 3 hours into the fair, Isaac got the hang of the process involved in riding the rides. He finally figured out that he had to stand in line and only move when the line moved, the assistant would help him buckle in to be safe and when the ride stopped, he had to wait for the assistant to unbuckle him and then he was to exit the ride quietly. It seemed that just as we were starting to have fun, it was time to go.

Lunch was interesting too. Bees are mother nature. In the spring, they are a attracted to bushes and flowers to feast on the larva of other bugs. Toward fall, their tastes change and they hunt for anything sweet. The fair is the best place to find something sweet, there are funnel cakes, caramel apples, cotton candy and sugar rich fountain drinks. When people are finished eating, naturally they discard leftover items in the trash can and surely the trash cans would be located nearer to the eating place for easy disposal. As our pre-k children sat down to eat, the bees began bugging them. The picnic area was over ruled by the stinging pests. Two children were stung and, luckily for us, they were not allergic. I happened to be the parent that came prepared with stinger spray, tweezers and band-aids. I also had other first aid necessities but those were the only required. I carefully pulled the stinger out with the tweezers, gave the area a spray and put a band-aid over the slightly swelled parts of the children who were stung. All was well.

Tonight, all is quiet in my house. We are all exhausted in our own little way. Isaac was overly stimulated by the sounds and rides, I was exhausted from chasing children, Nicholas was tired of being in his walker or my arms. Isaac is currently laying on the couch, Nicholas is doing laps around the house in his walker and I have been ready for bed since 5:00 PM.

~~who is overprepared? Surely not this Momma!

policy council meeting...

2004-09-21T15:05:00.000-04:00

After getting Isaac off to school, I had no time to waste in cleaning before it was time to take Nicholas to the doctor. This appointment was to discuss his apnea monitor and the allergic reactions to the electrodes that are required to work the machine. The doctor and I discussed the pros and cons of continued use of the apnea monitor for Nicholas. The only reason Nicholas has an apnea monitor is to ease my mind that he may quit breathing while I sleep. This is a realistic fear for any parent but mine is reinforced by Audrey's death as she died in her sleep while I was sleeping. The apnea monitor is connected to Nicholas with a patient wire and two wires plugged into that, those are connected to Nicholas with electrodes. The electrodes are small circle or square sticky on one side patches and stick directly onto Nicholas abdomen. One electrode monitors heart rate and the other monitors respiration. If the heart rate gets too low or too high, the apnea monitor will alarm. If the respirations get too slow or too fast, the apnea monitor will alarm. Nicholas has been on an apnea monitor since he was born and he has reacted to the sticky on the electrodes from day one. These leave tiny blisters on his sides. I replace the electrodes daily, after his bath, and move them to different places on his abdomen in an effort to avoid the blisters. So far, it has been so that Nicholas gets about 4 of these blisters a week. The older he gets, the more he scratches at the blister and he has popped a few in the last couple of days. Obviously, I'm tired of him having to deal with the blisters and I honestly don't think that I need the apnea monitor anymore for comfort. Nicholas sleeps with me and hubby and I haven't used the monitor in a few days now. Doctor says that we will continue use, whenever I need it, for another month - just to make sure that I am ready for it.

Tonight was the first of many Policy Council Meetings. In a previous post, I told you about the Policy Council and what it is for but now I have a clearer picture to share with you. Each school appoints a Policy Council Member. The PC Member from each school meets once a month at a local restaurant, eats and then discusses everything from new employees to academic approaches. The members vote on a variety of things. I learned that there are numerous education opportunities for me as well as Isaac. It is really groovy that the board allows parents to be so involved in the total picture of children's education.

Tomorrow should be a very fun but exhausting day. Nicholas and I are going on a field trip with Isaac and his class to the county fair. Expect many pictures and wish my sanity luck.

~~oh the joys

4 legged critters...

2004-09-19T20:36:00.000-04:00

In addition to my daily grind, yesterday we did something completely new to our family. As you may or may not know, the land included with the purchase of our house included a small pasture. The pasture is only about an acre and seemed more growth than anything. We have already had to have it cut once due to the growth. Our pasture is fenced in with two gates on the north and south side. There is another pasture on the north side of our pasture that shares a fence with our pasture. In the other pasture, there are 3 horses - a mare, a stud and a colt. Until now, we have admirer these horses from afar. Last Thursday, I walked down to the other pasture to speak with the owner of the 3 horses. I told her that if she wanted, she could open our north gate and let her horses chew our pasture down. She was grateful because she was already having to feed them hay due to the lack of grass on her pasture. She walked our pasture to make sure that the fences were secure and there was nothing dangerous for the colt to get hurt on. Soon the gate was open and the horses came in to feast on our grass. For a few days, they stayed in the northwest corner of our pasture.

Today, we came home from town to find the horses in the south end of our pasture. This is only about 15 foot away from our driveway. We carefully got out of the car and my husband immediately went to the fence. The stud and the colt smelled of his hand and before you knew it, he was petting the horses. When I came up, they left. I was determined to pet these horses so I went into the house and brought back carrots. It wasn't long before the stud and colt were eating out of all of our hands, even Isaac's. I though Isaac may be afraid of the horses for nothing else but their size but he wasn't even shy to them. We stood outside for about 2 hours feeding and petting the horses.

In the pasture to the east of ours that shares a fence with us, there lives a solid black Tennessee Walker. This is one beautiful horse. While we were petting the colt and stud, he kept looking over the fence as if he were jealous. I went down to the southeast corner of our pasture and tried to coax him over with carrots. He responded to my voice and would shake his tail on command but would not come over and take the carrot from me. I threw several carrots, one hitting his ass, and he walked away as if he were not interested in my carrots. I called him a jackass and he nodded his head at me. Horses! It wasn't until I joined Tim and Isaac again before the black horse happily munched on the carrots. He neighed really loud like he was saying "thank you but I'm still not going to let you pet me." I yelled to him, "you're welcome jack." He nodded again. Tim says that it won't be long before he'll eat the carrots from my hands like the horses that are using our pasture.

My original plan for our pasture was to by a calf, put it in our pasture, feed it corn only and name it "Ribeye." We were going to feed the calf the best feed for the most tender meat and kill it when it was time. This seems brutal to me now. Tim's brother has horses that he does absolutely nothing with and Tim seems to think that he will sell them to him for next to nothing. These horses have never been broke or had any special attention. It will be hard to gain the trust of these horses but completely worth it in the end. We are still weighing the positives and negatives. Tim says that he is too old to break a horse. For those of you that do not know, breaking a horse involves trust, on both parts horse and human, patience, time and usually a sore bum. Breaking is getting the horse that has never had a saddle on it to be able to wear a saddle and finally to respond to rope directions. It takes a lot of dedication, patience and a sore ass. I've only ever broken two horses. The first, I thought I would just get on it, without a saddle, and ride it until it was tired. That plan may have worked if I would have at least bridled it first. Never-the-less, I got a sore ass but the horse will let me ride him bareback still. The second horse I bridled and took to a shallow stream. The water provides a cushion for me and wears the horse out faster. Think about it, is it easier to run in a field or in water up to your knees? It makes sense. So I took the horse to a shallow stream and saddled it, barely, then put a 50 lb bag of potatoes in the saddle. Once he we through bucking and running, he was tired and did not resist when I removed the bag of potatoes and got on. I only helped break this horse for that one day. Some horses require up to a year of doing this daily to be able to ride. I have never completely broken a horse on my own, owned a horse or cared for a horse for an extended length of time. I'm sure that it is a lot of work. I already have a lot of work. The time off would be worth it though, I would be able to ride with my family and that would just rock.

Isaac told Tim yesterday, "Daddy, I want horse, I be a cowboy baby."

I laughed.

big smiles...

2004-09-17T20:33:00.000-04:00

I woke up in the same mood that I went to sleep with. Just when it seemed that it would never get better and my day would remain rotten, I remembered that my husband's birthday is next week. His profession keeps him away from us Tuesday through Sunday and this means that we'll miss his actual birthday so I got busy today.

I bought my husband a dvd/stereo/surround sound combination. We have had a big screen tv for the longest but never took that leap into the present by purchasing a dvd player. I bought it and two dvd's of his favorite variety - westerns. Its true, my hubby is the biggest John Wayne fan. I don't mind the modern westerns so I bought Open Range and Wyatt Earp, both starring Kevin Cosner.

Once again, he is happy and after a 4 hour nap with Nicholas, I feel much better.

Hima, your things are done, I've been waiting for you to im me when you have time. *sticking tongue out*

~~finally exhaling

deep breaths...

2004-09-16T21:24:00.000-04:00

Nicholas has been in one of those moods. For those of you who are not a parent yet, "those" moods are ones that belong to someone else's child. Never would your angel act out so unless it was one of "those" mood days. Today he spent the majority of the day crying in my arms. I wasn't ignoring him, refused to sit him down and worried as to why he wasn't eating. When he would eat, he'd take 2 huge gulps off of my breasts and pull away crying. You can imagine the state I was in, hair in a frazzle, head about to bust open with pain, seeing all sorts of things that needed to be done and not able to do. He didn't take a nap either. There seemed to be no resolve of this day and I planned to pull an all nighter.

It was at 7:00 PM when Nicholas finally went to sleep. This is after a 30 minute bath, a couple of books and a too tired to be stressed mom. Another pointer for you non-parents, is that a fussy child will usually calm in a bath, keeping temperature no less than 98 degrees F and no more than 101 degrees F, for at least 20 minutes. This will wear your little fussy one down fast. Be prepared to dress them quickly because they are going to go to sleep very soon after, especially if you use lavender soap. He was so sleepy that I didn't even get time to dress Isaac for bed and Justin ended up helping Isaac into his pj's. By 8:00 PM, both boys were in their beds and either just about to enter the realm of sleep or already blissfully there.

When Isaac and I went to the library, I checked out a book called,The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. I was about half way through it tonight when I read about "milk letdown". Apparently, be patient with me fellas, there is a period during breastfeeding with the floor gates are opened and the baby doesn't have to work as hard at the milk. There are many factors that prevent the letdown and stress and fatigue are the main two. After the letdown and towards the end of feeding on each breast a natural laxative, made by my body, released in the milk. This aids the baby on comfortable stools. It became clear to me why Nicholas was in one of "those" moods. I have been especially fatigued since I gave blood and super stressed out for over a week now with no end in sight. This means that my milk never letdown and that pissed Nicholas off, causing his frustration after taking a few gulps. If my milk didn't let down, the laxative isn't ingested and that would make his belly hurt on top of being not full. Oh sure, it makes sense now but damn I wish I knew earlier. My parenting lesson for the day will stick with me. This is not one that I will have to relearn in a few years, it is with me for life.

My recommendation to expectant, new, old and retired mothers is to read. If only for 15 minutes a day, you will become wiser.

~~not worried but still tired

deep breaths...

2004-09-16T18:24:00.000-04:00

the first of many...

2004-09-15T19:52:00.000-04:00

Tonight was Isaac's first Parent Meeting. I met a few of the other parents, only 4 (including me) showed up out of 19 kids. I can't imagine why parents don't take time to be actively involved in their children's lives. This is something I will always ponder, as I am very interested in Isaac's education. This was the perfect opportunity to ask the teachers specific questions about Isaac's behavior in the classroom. I found out that his favorite play areas were the "construction", which features a large variety of building blocks and legos and the "playground", should be obvious to you but it is the outside jungle gym thing. I also found out that Isaac eats well at school, even his fruits and juices. He has two teachers but only one of them were at the meeting and she was really thorough on all topics. Explanations of how things work was really the theme of tonight's meeting. She explained the Scholastic Readers Program and how every $15 ordered by parents meant that the center got a free set of books. It was also stated that volunteer hours add up to more funding for each individual center. Parent of the month is the parent that volunteers the most and Parent of the Year has to volunteer at least 100 hours and do a special project with the kids. I bet you have no doubt on who will be Parent of the Year. *grins* Also at the meeting, a parent was asked to volunteer to be on the Policy Council. This Policy Council consists of a leader and 1 parent from each center and meetings are held at a local restaurant. Funding, projects, field trips, special needs, supplies and total growth of each center are on the topics of discussion and it is up to the Policy Council to ensure that the center you represent gets the things that they need to remain the best. I am the Policy Council Parent for Isaac's center.

blogger issues...

2004-09-14T22:59:00.000-04:00

I dunno why blogger refuses to post my posted entries but they show on the "edit" comments.

Grr.

~~too tired to fix it today, expect a flood of daily adventures as soon as time and energy allows.

in the loo of things...

2004-09-14T10:38:00.000-04:00

Tim got up with Isaac, dressed him, fed him and put him on the school bus. This allowed me to sleep for an additional hour and it was much needed sleep. The only set back that I've experienced with this whole donating blood thing is the fact that last night and today I've been excessively tired. Had it been an average day, I may not have been so exhausted though.

By 8:30 AM, we were out the door and on our way to town to pay a few bills. One of our friends, Erica, needed a ride down to Troutman to get her pick-up truck. An added bonus of helping her do this is getting a few things fixed on my car. I called her and by 9:00 AM, we began our 1 hour journey to Troutman. Once there, my car was put on a dyno machine. Basically, this machine plugs into the computer system of a car and can detect all problems with the car. We had been hearing a pecking noise in our little Kia Sportage and were concerned with it. It turned out that the spark plug wires were bad and needed replacing. In addition to new wires, we also had the air conditioning fixed and gear oil put in the transfer box. The transfer box holds the gears necessary for the 4-wheel drive to work properly. Without the gear oil in the transfer box, the 4-wheel drive would not engage and our gear oil level was really low. The gear oil should be replaced every 100,000 miles or when it is emptied by a professional. We had transmission work done to the car over a year ago and the bright assed mechanic that called himself a professional failed to replace or fill the transfer box with gear oil. Retard.

By 1:00 PM, We were zipping through the hour drive to get back in time to pick up Austin from school. We made it. Then we rushed home to get Isaac off of the bus. We made it with only seconds to spare. No sooner than Isaac got home, my Papa came over, then Mom came over to get Austin, and finally Erica brought her brother, James, over for me to help him with his math homework. James did not understand the teacher, his mother or his sister, who had all tried every way they knew possible to teach him these math skills. 30 minutes after we began, James completely understood his math assignment and was thrilled that he knew what to do and had fun learning. I can't wait until my kids are big enough to need help with their homework. James requested a personal copy of my phone number so that he could call me when he needed help again. It was granted.

My house was full of children playing, adults talking loudly over the noise of the kids playing and my cats were hiding in the corners due to the confusion of it all. You would think that I would be thoroughly please with all of my guests and the sounds in my house but I didn't have my strength back and therefore was not in a good mood at all. It is a good thing that these people know me well because they, one by one, left for their own reasons but soon enough that I didn't blow up. Once everyone was gone, with the exception of Tim, Justin, Isaac and Nicholas, I was able to sit down and relax but it was short lived.

At 8:00 PM, the kids and I took Tim to work and I met with the insurance sales woman. She was groovy.

~~exhausted to the max

i gave my blood to vampires...

2004-09-13T10:03:00.000-04:00

Today I took out 45 minutes of my life to donate my blood to the American Red Cross. At first I thought of it as just that, donating blood, but after the required reading and information given to me after I donated, I've learned that I really saved 3 lives. The 45 minutes total ended up working this way; 15 minutes reading required information, 15 minutes completing paperwork, 10 minutes preparation for the transfer of my blood from my body into a pint sized bag, and 5 minutes to fill that bag. After donating, I was swept away to the front of the donation area and fed. I was ask to take my time and stay at least 10 minutes to make sure that I was not going to get dizzy. This was my first time donating and I have to give donating blood a 1.0 on the stress scale. At all times I was completely in control, able to change my mind at any time with no notice, it didn't take long, everyone was nice and I got free food. *laughs* So here are some interesting facts about blood, donating and how things work in the world of the American Red Cross.

Only 5% of eligible people actually donate, it is estimated that 95% of us will need blood or a blood product during our lifetime.

In my area, more than 1,600 units of blood are needed each day for patients in local hospitals.

An individual can donate blood every 56 days.

Blood donations have been processed, tested, transported and transfused within a few days of donation. Red cells can be stored for 42 days.

Platelets have only a 5-day shelf life.

Each blood donation is processed into 3 components:
Red Blood Cells - that carry oxygen from the lungs to every cell in the body. They are needed by patients who have lost blood in an accident or who have anemia.
Platelets - help blood clot. Cancer patients need lots of platelets to offset the effects of chemotherapy.
Plasma - is used to control bleeding in certain patients and to make a variety of products such as antihemophilic factor. More than half of blood is plasma.

Blood is needed for:
organ transplants
gastrointestinal disease
aneurysm
premature babies
open heart surgeries
treatment of cancer
trauma
anemia and clotting disorders
accident victims
burns
Possible Transfusion Combinations

Blood Type: O+
Can be given to: O+, A+, B+, AB+
Can receive: O+, O-

Blood Type: A+
Can be given to: A+, AB+
Can receive: A+, O+, A-, O-

Blood Type: B+
Can be given to: B+, AB+
Can receive: B+, O+, B-, O-

Blood Type: AB+
Can be given to: AB+
Can receive: O+, A+, B+, AB+, O-, A-, B-, AB-

Blood Type: O-
Can be given to: O+, A+, B+, AB+, O-, A-, B-, AB-
Can receive: O-

Blood Type: A-
Can be given to: A+, AB+, A-, AB-
Can receive: A-, O-

Blood Type: B-
Can be given to: B+, AB+, B-, AB-
Can receive: B-, O-

Blood Type: AB-
Can be given to: AB+, AB-
Can receive: O-, A-, B-, AB-

If you have never given blood, do it, you walk away with the feeling that you just saved 3 lives because you did.

If you have given blood but it has been awhile, go back. You must have forgotten the feeling.

If you give blood as often as possible for you, thank you, the life you save may be my own, my children's, my husband's, or someone in my family.

~~very proud

super busy...

2004-09-12T07:10:00.000-04:00

Pardon my lack of written expression over the last few days. I have been up to the same daily routine that you have come to know and love but with a couple of twists. As you can see, I've started working again. I wanted to start small and with someone that is very flexible and forgiving. Hima was that someone. We've been working together on her blog design and I think the end product is super groovy. I've also designed a title for Mynna, which was gonna be a surprise but I didn't want her to be sad that she didn't have a design yet. So my days look like this.

5:30 AM - Wake Up, Enjoy Coffee and a smoke.
5:45 AM - Workout
6:00 AM - Shower
6:45ish - Nicholas eats.
7:30 AM - Wake Isaac, get him read for school
8:15 AM - Isaac gets on bus
8:30 AM - Nicholas wakes up, after changing his diaper and eating, we play
10:00 AM - Nicholas eats and naps until noonish and I clean clean clean
12:00 Noon - Nicholas wakes, he eats then we play
2:30 PM - Isaac gets home from school, Nicholas eats
5:00 PM - Cook, Nicholas eats
6:00 PM - Supper
7:00 PM - Dishes, after Nicholas eats
7:30 PM - Bathes for the boys
8:00 PM - Storytime and bed, Nicholas eats
8:30 PM - Boys are asleep, (reading, cleaning, working) time for me
10:30 PM - I go to sleep
1:30 AM - Nicholas eats

My times to clean and work are when Isaac is at school and Nicholas sleeps or when they are both asleep. It gets interesting.

~~laughing

2004-09-10T20:38:00.000-04:00

hima's blog title - take 2

Hima's Blog Title - Take 1

2004-09-10T13:37:00.000-04:00

I'm so tired, I'll share pictures instead of typing...

2004-09-07T20:38:00.000-04:00

We'll catch up on today, tomorrow...

The born heartbreaker, look at those eyes - that face...

Awe, my favorite picture of the day...

He's kissing his baby instead of me...btw, that's a close up of the new rug...

Awe! How can something so cute be so rotten?

This is classic Nicholas, layed out on his Mother's lap...

holidays, ugh...

2004-09-07T00:17:00.000-04:00

You may or may not be aware of the recent holiday in the states, Labor Day.

Labor Day is a national legal holiday that is over 100 years old. Over the years, it has evolved from a purely labor union celebration into a general "last fling of summer" festival.
It grew out of a celebration and parade in honor of the working class by the Knights of Labor in 1882 in New York. In 1884, the Knights held a large parade in New York City celebrating the working class. The parade was held on the first Monday in September. The Knights passed a resolution to hold all future parades on the same day, designated by them as Labor Day.

The Socialist Party held a similar celebration of the working class on May 1. This date eventually became known as May Day, and was celebrated by Socialists and Communists in commemoration of the working man. In the U.S., the first Monday in September was selected to reject any identification with Communism.

In the late 1880's, labor organizations began to lobby various state legislatures for recognition of Labor Day as an official state holiday. The first states to declare it a state holiday in, 1887, were Oregon, Colorado, New York, Massachusetts, and New Jersey. Then in 1894, Congress passed a law recognizing Labor Day as an official national holiday.

Today, Labor Day is observed not only in the U.S. but also in Canada, and in other industrialized nations. While it is a general holiday in the United States, its roots in the working class remain clearer in European countries.

It has come to be recognized in the U.S. not only as a celebration of the working class, but even more so as the unofficial end of the summer season. In the northern half of the U.S. at least, the summer vacation season begins with Memorial Day and ends with Labor Day.

Many colleges and some secondary and elementary schools begin classes immediately after Labor Day.

State parks, swimming pools, and campgrounds are all quite busy on Labor Day, as vacationers take one last advantage of the waning hot season. September is the month that marks the beginning of autumn. And, because of that, the average daytime maximum temperatures take a plunge during the month in most of the U.S.

This Labor Day, I worked harder than any other day. Tim and I began cleaning the house shortly after waking up, having coffee and eating breakfast. We cleaned the entire house, top to bottom, in about 5 hours. Yes, I am a clean freak.

Next, we piled in the car and zoomed over to Mom's house for dinner. We were there for about 2 hours before a friend, Erica, called needed help towing a car. She had never towed vehicle before and was scared to do it. Tim, the baby and I went to her house to check out the dolly and car. It is a good thing that we did come over. The car dolly that she rented was a piece of shit. The lights didn't work, the sway bar had to be strung into place and it was completely wrecked. I raised hell but the appropriate person wasn't there and I am supposed to call in the morning to chew $20 more bucks out of his ass. I will.

We spent the next 6 hours towing a car to a garage. When we got back, Mom had given Isaac a bath. My real dad was there, waiting on me to return. It was good seeing him. *yawn* So we came home at like 11:00 PM. That's only about 2 hours past my bed time. I still had to take Erica home though, so I dropped Tim and the sleeping kids off. Upon pulling up in the driveway, Justin was sitting on the front step. He had told me that he would hope this morning, he wasn't. I am bound and determined to teach him a lesson without breaking him in the process so we left for Mom's despite his absence. Due to the fact he was not home when he was supposed to be, he ended up sitting outside, with no cigarettes, for 4 hours. That'll teach him.

I got home at midnight. *yawn*

~~worn out

holy shitballs Batman...

2004-09-05T20:56:00.000-04:00

Those were Tim's exact words when he saw his new riding mower, "holy shitballs Batman." He walked right past it in the basement this morning and did not see it. It wasn't until we were on our way to breakfast that he noticed. He likes it so much that he mowed on Sunday. I told him that there is an unwritten law about mowing grass on Sunday and how bad it is but he told me I was crazy. What else is new?

~laughing

A design in born...

2004-09-04T22:00:00.000-04:00

I've volunteered to design a blog template for Hima's blog. I ask her what she liked and one of the things she said was dew drops. I used this picture...

drop

and a little creative design and made her a blog. Hopefully you'll see it on her blog soon.

super Saturday...

2004-09-04T20:38:00.000-04:00

When I was growing up, Saturday was always the cleaning day. We all had our chores to do daily but Saturday was the wall washing, spic and span, everything has to be completely spotless day. I have fond memories of piling up in my parents bed with my dad, who didn't work on Saturday, watching tv while my mom worked. Thirty minutes before she was scheduled to get off of work, we would all jump up and have the majority of the house clean. My dad would even pitch in. By the time that Mom got home, we were all sweaty and there was an obvious amount of work completed, always enough to satisfy her. She would change and pitch in and within the hour, we were done and enjoying the company of each other until that night, when we would go skating and they would do old-people-married-stuff. I recall hating Saturday morning and the cleaning spree but now that I'm older, I appreciate those Saturdays so much that I've continued the tradition and put my Isaac to work. *laughs*

Every morning, Isaac is to make his bed, put his toys in his toy box and brush his teeth. It is a ritual that I've embedded in his head from day one and he does it without thinking it is a chore. Since he was old enough to walk and wanted to help, he has added emptying ashtrays to his choreless his self. Now that I have all of these floors to clean, Isaac picks up the rugs for me to sweep and clean the hardwood and when I'm finished, he puts them back. It is groovy that he wants to help me and he tries so hard.

Tim is scheduled in tonight after midnight, *ugh*, and Mom has requested my help in cutting her flower beds back for winter. In order to get all of my chores and help my mother done before bedtime for the boys, I had to really kick it into high gear today. I cleaned my house spotless and was over at Mom's by 5:00 PM. She cooked steaks and after filling my belly, I got busy in her beds. Justin and Mom helped. Together we managed to clean every bed that she has, someday I will take pictures of her yard to show you the massive flower beds.

So, I'm tired but can't wait to see the look on Tim's face when he sees his new riding mower.

I love my hubby this much...

2004-09-03T20:29:00.000-04:00

A little history first, of course darling. Tim and I have had the most rocky relationship of anyone that I know personally, have read about or saw on television. We have been through the ringers ladies and gentlemen. You wouldn't know that by visiting our house or hanging out with us at dinner, we are totally zoned in on eachother and very on key, now. My mother would be the only one to figure out if he did something that pissed me off of visa versa. So anyway, for the past year, we have been ironing out the last of the problems, ok its been just me but he doesn't have any problems, he is perfect and I am not being sarcastic at all. Through the course of the last year, Tim has had a total of 5 weeks off. Out of a week, he has worked 5 or 6 days and only spent 1 or 2 days home and then off again on another trip. He did stay home in April when we had Nicholas though, for 2 weeks. Everyone may assume that I get lonely but I can't with all that I do. Isaac and Nicholas keep me busy and Tim calls atleast 3 times a day. So basically, Tim has worked his ass off this year. He already qualifies for the big Christmas bonus and it is no where near Christmas. Most drivers will work too hard between Labor Day and Christmas to get in the quota of trips to qualify for the bonus in December.

Today, I went to pick up his check. Not only did he have his vacation pay but also had a safety bonus and all of this in addition to his regular pay. It was a very good check and I almost passed out. Anyway, I was debating between new towels and a couple more rugs when it dawned on me that my husband works extremely hard and I am the one who has racked up in the last 4 months, really the last year. So I'm recalling, during the drive to the bank, of the things that I've gotten in the last year and the things that he has gotten in the last year.

Me : car that is completely paid for and dependable, TV in bedroom, Dish Network to view on said TV, a huge brick house with paved driveway and hardwood floors, a super groovy rug for the living room in said house, a cellphone with picture capability and every other little thing that holds no comparison to the above items but are equally as important.

Him : ok so the car, TV, Dish Network, house and rug he benefits from but he works so hard that he can't enjoy them.

So I'm feeling really bad and decide not to spend his hard earned money on something that I want, but something that he wants instead. The shopping spree ended for me and I bought my husband something that he has wanted for a long time, something that he has never owned before and something that most men measure their worthiness by:
a riding lawn mower.

He is going to be pleased!

in search of the skinny...

2004-09-03T07:39:00.000-04:00

You should all know, by now, that I have received a brand spanking new Gazelle. The Gazelle has been assembled and this morning, I got up at the ass crack of dawn, on my own, and did my workout. Before I provide the hilarious details, let's explore a few words.

According to Webster Dictionary:

Main Entry: ga·zelle
Pronunciation: g&-'zel
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural gazelles also gazelle
Etymology: French, from Middle French, from Arabic ghazAl
: any of numerous small to medium graceful and swift African and Asian antelopes (Gazella and related genera)

Main Entry: free·style
Pronunciation: 'frE-"stIl
Function: noun
Usage: often attributive
1 : a competition in which the contestant is given more latitude than in related events; especially : swimming competition in which the swimmer may use any stroke
2 : CRAWL 2
- free·styl·er noun

Main Entry: elite
Pronunciation: A-'lEt, i-, E-
Function: noun
Etymology: French élite, from Old French eslite, from feminine of eslit, past participle of eslire to choose, from Latin eligere
1 a singular or plural in construction : the choice part : CREAM b singular or plural in construction : the best of a class c singular or plural in construction : the socially superior part of society d : a group of persons who by virtue of position or education exercise much power or influence e : a member of such an elite -- usually used in plural
2 : a typewriter type providing 12 characters to the linear inch
- elite adjective

Main Entry: work·out
Pronunciation: 'w&rk-"aut
Function: noun
1 : a practice or exercise to test or improve one's fitness for athletic competition, ability, or performance
2 : a test of one's ability, capacity, stamina, or suitability

18 entries found for fat. The first 10 are listed below.
To select an entry, click on it. For more results, click here.
fat[1,adjective]fat[2,transitive verb]fat[3,noun]brown fatchew[1,verb]deep fatfat bodyfat catfat cellfat depot

Main Entry: 3fat
Function: noun
1 : animal tissue consisting chiefly of cells distended with greasy or oily matter
2 a : oily or greasy matter making up the bulk of adipose tissue and often abundant in seeds b : any of numerous compounds of carbon, hydrogen, and oxygen that are glycerides of fatty acids, are the chief constituents of plant and animal fat, are a major class of energy-rich food, and are soluble in organic solvents but not in water c : a solid or semisolid fat as distinguished from an oil
3 : the best or richest part
4 : OBESITY
5 : something in excess : SUPERFLUITY
- fat·less /-l&s/ adjective

This morning, at 6:00am, I rolled out of bed and stretched my legs into my addidas pants and a sports bra. This is a very scary outfit to see me in but the only one that was awake was Justin and he didn't seem to mind. I turned on the coffee pot and went into the living room, where my Gazelle is set up properly (including the power pistons that put resistance into the workout) in front of the big screen tv. Last night, I set the vcr up and placed the workout video in it, so that all I would have to do this morning is climb on my Gazelle Freestyle Elite and turn on the tv. Once on the Gazelle, I turned on the tv and vcr and pressed play on the remote strategically placed on the shelf beside of the Gazelle. Off I went, with a 2 minute warm-up, that isn't included in on the 10 minute workout for beginners. According to this video, anyone who does not participate in exercise regularly is a beginner. Aside from chasing kids, I do not participate in regular activity thus making me a beginner. Throughout the workout, I could only think about how annoying this Tony Little guy is. He designed the Gazelle and personally does the workout videos. Doesn't he look annoying?

Once the workout started, I managed to keep up with Tony Little's exact steps for about the first 2 minutes. The sweat started pouring from my brow, my limbs slick with sweat, almost out of breath and 2 minutes later (4 minutes total)I was counting down to 10 minutes and dreading the remaining 6 minutes, no longer able to keep up with his exact steps but I managed to stay close. At this point, Justin is laughing at me and my inability to breath properly and replace actual breaths with pants instead. He even made the, "whoa, never heard you pant before," comment. Gee thanks for the support Justin. Despite my obvious struggle with breathing, I managed to get a "fuck you" out between gasps of air. He grinned at me largely and decided to stay quiet for another minute. During this minute I began constructing a puddle of sweat beneath me. There is nothing more annoying than feeling sweat run down the inside of your thighs while you are trying to do something, trust me on this one, and not being able to get your breath when breathing is a necessity for the activity that is causing you to sweat so profusely. Justin, bless is little heart that I plan on ripping out when he gets home from work, tried to encourage my slowing being by becoming my lamaze coach, "breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out." Ok, so it did help and I was able to stay focused for the remaining 4 minutes of the 10 minute beginners workout. With 3 minutes left, I started regretting the power pistons on the first workout and began rethinking the workout without them. My entire body is drenched in its own fluid, if it were possible to drown, I would have. My breathing has leveled off to the point that I could make 3 or 4 word sentences and according to Mr. Little, that is exactly where it should be. With 2 minutes to go, I was able to exactly match Tony's steps again and was feeling very confident about the entire process. Just when I got the hang of things, "Beginners cool down for 2 - 3 minutes and take pulse" came on the screen. Thank God! I used the 3 minutes to slowly, but progressively slow down. Due to my desire to do this workout right, I had already watched the video completely and learned to cool down and stretch after a workout. I cooled down, stretched and stopped on the machine for a minute of reflection before getting off. Key questions to answer:

How do I feel?
A. Sticky, thankful that I have my breath back, but overall very okay.

Did anything in particular hurt?
A. While still on the machine, I could feel nothing pulled, burning, out of place or under unusual stress. Upon getting off, I got the same sensation that you do when you get off of a treadmill and it took a moment for me to get my "land legs" back but nothing hurt.

At what point did I feel a physical difference after the workout?
A. LOWER BODY - That would be when I tried going downstairs with a full laundry basket of dirty laundry and my legs didn't want to cooperate. Luckily, I didn't drop the basket or fall down the stairs but it was a challenge. UPPER BODY - Oh yes, when picking up Nicholas for the first time today and my arms tried to rebel.

When will I put myself through this again?
A. 6:00AM tomorrow morning.

Why will I put myself through this again?
A. To misplace my fat, gain muscle and hopefully lean this 24 year old body back into my school girl figure, or better.

What are my goals?
A.
Lose excess body fat and get my percentage down to the average for women - 13-25%. Preferably closer to the 13% since I am through with having children and no longer need the excess to support my body during child bearing.
Tone up. I have thigh flab to my knees, belly where my thighs should be and my arm waves bye-bye for too many moments after I stop waving.
Feel better. Emotionally, of course. It is a proven scientific fact that regular exercise releases stress.

When was the last time you worked out? For how long? What duration of time did your workout routine sustain?

~~feels like a woman

2004-09-02T20:18:00.000-04:00

Justin aka "Justin Case"

10 deep breath 9 deep breath...

2004-09-02T14:48:00.000-04:00

Ok, the breathing still doesn't work for me. Due to my still-pissed-off-state-of-mind, I decided to take a nap with Nicholas. Cuddling with my baby seems to always make my day better and it was working until I heard a glitch in the cable and then nothing. I reach over to the bedside table and grab my glasses, once in place and I could see, I looked at the tv screen to read that I needed to call Dish Network. Both of my feet hit the floor at the same time and I could feel my anger coming back with a vengeance like the firery pits of hell. Before calling Dish Network, I checked to make sure that I had paid my bill last month and checked the current balance on our account. I paid my bill 8 days early last month and my balance was actually a credit of $2.38. All I could think about while waiting for a customer service representative to answer my call in the order it was received was, "why would they interrupt my service if I have paid my bills on time, every time and there is a credit to our account?" This is the exact question that I ask the non-English speaking woman that answered my call. I was told that my account had a brief interruption in service to prompt my calling them to verify my billing address due to them receiving my last bill back from the post office.

"You're kidding me right? Regardless of where my bill goes, I know exactly how much I owe and I do believe I have done a damned good job of keeping my account current without a mailed bill to look at. Because we are on auto-pay, we don't receive paper bills and now my service has been interrupted for this bullshit. This is what you are going to do, you are going to give me an additional credit on my account for the unnecessary lapse in viewability and if you can not do that, transfer me to your supervisor and let your supervisor know that I do not enjoy being on hold." I said and you would be so proud of the tone of voice that I used with this woman.
"Yes ma'am, transferring." She was really polite, this may be why I was so patient with her.
"Hello Mrs. S, my associate tells me that you have had an interruption of service due to our wanting to update your records with us. Please accept my deepest apology and a $30 credit to your account that will be effective today. Is there anything else I can help you with?" Funny, I was only on hold long enough to cough.
"Thank you and yes there is." Here I go, "Please make a large bulletin on my account that advises anyone that looks at my account on your computer system that reads, "Do not interrupt service unless payment is overdue." If my service is interrupted for anything but my being overdue, I will receive 6 months of Dish Network free. This not only cost me 3 hours of viewing time but it also upset me to the point that I am now pissed off at everything and this interrupted my nap time with my infant. My time is not cheap."
"Yes, ma'am, anything else?"
"No, not at all, have a nice day."

After this conversation, I flopped down in my office chair and stared at nothing while I sucked down a cigarette, all in an attempt to calm down a little. It was at that moment that I realized that there was a package sitting on my desk that UPS had delivered earlier and I had not opened it yet. On August 28, 2004, I ordered Bona Hardwood Floor Cleaner from Heritage Hardwood Floors via internet. The process was simple, easy and stress-free. In addition to this unusually pleasant ordering experience, I expected to receive this package of ordered goods in 5 -7 business days and it came on the fourth. My order was correct, not damaged, complete and I didn't have to raise one second of hell to get it that way. Attached to the package was this letter:

Dear Mr. S,

Thanks for the order.

Your business is greatly appreciated. I realize that you have many choices of where to shop, and I am glad that you selected us and hope that you will visit us again soon.

I am always adding new hardwood flooring information and new products to my online store.

Please visit us again, your comments and suggestions are welcome. Remember, we're always just a click or call away.

Thanks!

Hal

In response to this letter, I wrote and sent the following e-mail:

Thank you Hal,

We received our product today via UPS. You can expect future business with
us as you are the first company that we have purchased from online and NOT
had some sort of problem with it. Thanks for the great service.

See, I'm not always bad. I give credit when credit is due. My husband says that I am too old fashioned for the fast pace of the world today. I still believe that no customer is more important than another and in order to survive in a business situation, you must treat every customer as if it were your only customer. This is probably why my customers are faithful to my little company.

~~calmer

2004-09-02T14:25:00.000-04:00

Just for Hima

2004-09-02T14:24:00.000-04:00

Which one of us is the "damn" cat?

not all is lost...

2004-09-01T21:35:00.000-04:00

My day wasn't a complete bitchfest. Have confidence in me dear blogger, I may not have a "therapist" but I have extended my support group. For some strange reason, maybe it isn't so strange, I instantly feel better about everything when I sit in front of my computer and read about your lives. I forget about my aggression, anger and whatever happened in my life that day. There are only 4 people in my life that can do this for me but it isn't as instant as my nights blogging: my mom, my husband and my 2 children. Ok, somehow that looks pathetic, oh well. Alas, since my regular visited blogs haven't posted something new for me to read, I went on a quest to extend my reaches. I've found two of the grooviest blogs that I've seen.

The first that I found is Cheaper Than Therapy. Let's face it, just the name of it is what we all seek, SOMETHING cheaper than therapy and more effective too. So I'll give you a taste of what made me decide to keep current with this blog:

"Tuesday, August 24, 2004
This date will go down in history as The Day of the Jackhole.

I went to the credit union to get a replacement debit card, since I've misplaced mine and I'll need one for vacation spending. As I stood in line, I could tell that I wasn't going to get the Nice Teller. I ended up in front of the Attitude Problem Teller and explained my situation.

APT: Why do you need a new card?

Me: I've misplaced mine somewhere in the house.

APT: Have you reported it stolen?

Me: It wasn't stolen. It's in my house somewhere.

APT: If it wasn't stolen, then where is it?

Me: ...

About ten minutes later, she decided that I wasn't going to leave her station, so she picked up the phone and, in less than sixty seconds, placed a new card on order for me. Then, without saying another word to me, hollered, "NEXT!""

The reason that I like this so much is because it is the exact same principle response that I would have given the teller, only mine is the X rated version. Perhaps by following this chick's blog, I'll learn how to get my point across without getting pissed off at the world in the process. I bet her secret isn't counting backwards from 20 and taking a deep breath in between numbers. Perhaps I'll ask her some day.

The Second Blog that I found was
My Expatriate Odyssey. This man strikes my fancy because I have a step brother that lives in Frankfurt that I've never seen, touched, spoke and only once wrote to. My step brother has lived in Germany since he was born. I've always wondered, from time to time, how different his life is. This blog is just enough of a window to see how things work in Germany. Conceivably, my imagination may become closer to fiction. Here's an excerpt:

Svetlana Khorkina, the anorexic looking Russian gymnast is P.O’ed. Like who didn’t see it on her face after watching an American teenybopper, Carly Patterson strip her of Olympic glory.

As I sat watching the climax of the Olympic Gymnastics with my wife I said “look at the Russian chick’s face…she’s pissed.”

The Europsort guys didn’t think so. They called it “disappointment” and were bragging about what a good sport Khorkina was. Apparently they didn’t see what I saw. During the little hugsy-kissey thing women do after competition, Khorkina whispered something in little Carly Patterson’s ear, and judging from the shocked/angered expression on Carly’s face, I don’t think the Russian said “way to go girl”.

Anyway, Khorkina is letting it all hang out now. She feels she was robbed of her rightful title by America loving judges. “I think it's because I'm from Russia, not from America!" she said.

Khorkina—for those of you who don’t know—posed in the Russian edition of Playboy (Russian men like their women looking hungry).

I’m waiting. I’m being patient. Maybe four years from now in Bejing things will get interesting. I can see it now. The Americans are about to strip the Chinese of a disserved gold medal and some little under fed Chinese pixie comes over and delivers a kung fu punch to one of the American gymnasts then says something in Chinese that means basically the same as “Bitch”! At that point, female gymnastics will have picked up a large population of male viewers. Hey…it would be good for the sport!

Speaking of pixies… for all the talk about doping scandals, somebody please explain to me the pre-teen anatomy of an 18 year old gymnast…seriously! The way I see it, there are three possibilities; 1) Some countries purposely enlist little girls with stunted growth into their gymnastics program. 2) The “18” year old gymnast is actually 10. 3) They’re taking some sort of anti-growth drug.

Blog word of the day : Conceivably

I fired my therapist...

2004-09-01T19:11:00.000-04:00

With all of the things occurring in my life the way that they were, I decided a few months ago to seek professional help do deal with it. I've had a couple of appointments and I had 4 scheduled appointments to go in this cycle. I didn't blog about it for its obvious personal reasons but now I must. I sought the help of this therapist because I have a very hard time controlling my anger. It doesn't take much for an adult to piss me off to the point that I could choke them to death. Children are in a category all their own and I rarely loose my temper with them. When I do lose my temper with kids, I almost always either yell at them to go to their room or put them in the corner. This condition started after the death of my daughter. I never dealt with her death in an appropriate way. Instead, I drank heavily for a year and then bottled every emotion up inside of me.

My therapist, on the first visit, performed an evaluation test. If it were possible to flunk this test, I did. The results of the test revealed that I have an anger problem, social anxiety and a dangerous form of fearlessness. She explained to me that I needed medication to level me out so that therapy would sink deep into my head and hopefully give me skills to deal with my problems. She also suggested group therapy. Due to these 2 statements, I did not want to go back. I have very good reasons as to why.

I'm a breastfeeding mother and there are only a limited number of medications that will not interfere with milk production or that are passed through to the child.
I don't like pills, never have and never will. (I barely used pain medication after a C-Section due to this.)
Group therapy won't work for me because:
I have buried these feelings, in public, for 5 years and appeared to be normal to every person that I came in contact with.
If I were a social kind of person, it wouldn't have taken me 5 years to decide that I have a problem and seek help for it.
I would close back up in a group therapy situation.
Duh, I have social anxiety.

I did go back for that second appointment, just to give it a go. We explored further into my background and current feelings. She is not a very good listener and interrupted every chance that she got. The fact that I had to be locked onto her eyes, looking into my eyes, for the entire hour session didn't turn me onto her either. We worked on techniques to control my anger towards adults too. She suggested that I count backwards from 10, taking deep breaths between numbers until I calmed down and was able to communicate. Ok, if you haven't guessed, this woman isn't much of a therapist. She's either retarded or just stupid because counting does not work. If counting worked, I would have kicked so many people's asses through the years. I walked away thinking that I was wasting my time but made 4 additional appointments, just to try to receive this professional help.

Today, I got a call from my therapists receptionist.

"Hello Mrs. S, I'm E from Dr. H's office. She is going to be away for your next 2 scheduled appointments and ask me to call to reschedule your appointments." She sounded as if she really hated her job.
"Okay." I was rolling my eyes at this point.
"How does Sept 27 at 5:00pm sound?" still sounding enthusiastic.
"Um, it doesn't sound good at all. I need Mondays or Tuesdays only and only between 9:30am and 1:00pm." I tried to make my point without being bitchy about it.
"Oh, that is a problem, let me check -- long pause -- ok, October 24th at 10:00am."
"That's over 2 months from my last appointment, isn't there something sooner?" *GEEZ*
"I'm sorry, that's the closest that I have unless there is a cancellation, it will just have to do you."
"Are you getting an attitude with me?"
"Well no but I can if you wish me to."
"Hold up bitch! You call me to reschedule, you get an attitude when I tell you the times that are convenient to me and now you are mouthing off at me? Can't you see on my chart that I have a fucking problem controlling my God damned anger? I don't know who the fuck you think you are but you have barked up the wrong damn tree. I'll have your ass bitch. *click*" whew, I feel better but the bitch hung up on me. I was so not satisfied with that, so I call back.
"Good afternoon, Dr. H's office," A different chick blurted.
"I need to speak with Dr. H please."
"Dr. H is with a patient, may I take a message?"
"You most certainly may, are you ready?" Up until now, I was using a very sweet voice.
"Yes Ma'am, I'm ready." She cheerfully said.
"Ok - short pause - This is Mrs. S and I just got off of the phone with E who had called me to reschedule my next 2 scheduled appointments but she got an attitude with me and now I am so fucking pissed that I am about to come down there and rip her guts through her asshole and wring them around her neck so that she will know in the future not to talk to me like I'm a fucking dog. Dr. H can call me in less than 5 minutes or I'll be coming to that office to treat E to a hand made enema and then I'll bend over so that Dr. H can kiss my ass." I took a breathe. "Got that?"
"y-y-yyes" she said, stuttering.

I was and still am pissed about the entire situation. Needless to say, Dr. H called me back almost immediately.

"April, this is Dr. H and I am so sorry that E talked to you in a way that you did not like but I'm sure we can talk you out of this aggressive period. Take a deep breath and count with me..." As if!
"*deep breathe*10 *deep breath* 9 *deep breath* 8 *deep breath* 7 *deep breath*" I'm sure you get the point but I went all of the way down to 1.
Then she said, "Now, doesn't that feel better?"
"um, no, I still want to gut E and bend over for your ignorant ass so that you can kiss my ass." I replied.
"I'm not sure that I can help you April, your anger is certainly worse than I imagined." She stuttered out.
"I'm glad that you have enough of a fucking brain to realize that your pussy techniques will not work for someone with real aggression issues. I'm firing your incompetent ass. Cancel every appointment that I have with you and jump off of the first bridge you pass because you are the most pathetic excuse for a therapist that I have ever came in contact with. If your office contacts me again, I will press harassment charges against the lot of you. Have a nice day. *click*"

I gave it a go and throughout my entire therapy experience, I finally got the relief that I was looking for when I gave that stupid hoochie a piece of my mind. I picture her still holding a beeping phone and crying. That makes me happy.

~~still pissed though

my mind is racing, buckle up...

2004-08-31T21:20:00.000-04:00

I think the newness of school has worn off of Isaac. This morning, he didn't want to get up to go to school. I literaly had to drag him out of bed and dress him. I'm thinking that I prefer the 5:30am mornings and coffee.

Mom and I went to Winston-Salem today to upgrade my cellphone. After the whole day, a slow ass Sprint PCS technician and $250 charge on a card, I have a brand new cellphone with camera feature. WOOHOO! Expect pictures in the near future, showcasing a daily picture to sum up my day.

brb - need to reboot

Okay, while rebooting, I thought I should describe how hidiously (thanks Hima)ugly this slow ass Sprint PCS technician was. I'm fairly tall (5 foot 10in) and this dude was between my belly button and shoulders. His head was bigger than the rest of his body and oddly shaped. On this huge head of his was a bushy, afroish, brown and very unruly hair. It was almost like:

"Easy Bedtimes" #1 Magazine Article to share

2004-08-30T11:46:00.000-04:00

"The Ultimate Guide to Easy Bedtimes"
By: Jessica Brown
found in "Child" magazine

your child's sleep style	your action plan	what not to do
The Crier Your child sobs endlessly in his crib when you put him down. Typical age: Newborn to 6 months.	Create a quiet, soothing environment at home before bedtime. Swaddling your baby and running a white noise machine or CD (available at purewhitenoise.com) will mimic his experience in the womb, comforting him and leading to deeper sleep. White noise also drowns out household sounds that may awaken your little one.	Avoid running to your infant whenever you hear the slightest whimper. Keep in mind that many babies make little noises in their sleep. If you do enter his room, simply pat him gently or jostle the crib lightly to soothe him. Picking your baby up or talking to him prevents your child from learning to fall asleep without you.
The Frequent Waker Your child is up every few hours throughout the night. Typical age: Newborn to 6 months.	During the day, feed your baby in a dimly lit, quiet room to keep her from viewing feedings as stimulating. If she falls asleep while feeding at night, wke her up by jostling her slightly before returning her to the crib. If this problem continues or emerges suddenly after the baby years, consult your pediatrician to determine the cause.	Don't play with or sing to your baby when she wakes at night; it rewards the behavior. Brest milk exits the stomach faster than bottle milk, so breastfed newborns will wake up more frequently. Refrain from night feedings when it becomes clear that she's feeding for comfort instead of nourishment (usually by 9 months).
The Tantrum Thrower Your child cries, screams, and has a meltdown when bedtime is announced. Typical age:Mainly toddlers; some preschoolers.	Develop a relaxing bedtime ritual that your child looks forward to--a bedtime story, lullabies, talking together about the day. If a tantrum occurs, carry your child to bed without saying a word. Talking will simply stall bedtime--his aim in the first place. If he won't stay in bed, follow the action plan for "the wanderer" below. Also, make sure your child isn't napping too long or too late.	Don't spank your child or speak to him harshly; it will only make him dread bedtime more. Some kids might have nighttime speaaration anxiety if they never learned to fall asleep by themselves. In this case, try introducing a "lovey" like a blanket or special stuffed animal that he can carry during the day and sleep with at night.
The Staller Your child makes constant requests, delaying her bedtime. Typical age:Preschoolers	Create an illustrated chart of your bedtime routine(one sotry, one drink of water, and so on, ending with a picture of a ticket that allows the bearer one extra request). The chart will curtail endless demands by laying out the rules clearly. In addition, your child will feel more secure knowing that the ticket gives her access to you. Signal the end of the routine by turning off the light.	Very important: Don't be inconsistent. If you give in to your child's requests after she's used her tickey, she'll continue to nag you every night. Side not: Spend more uninterrupted time with your child earlier in the day. If bedtime is the only time your little one has your undivided attention, she'll be more apt to stall.
The Wanderer Your child wakes up in the middle of the night and won't go back to sleep without a parent. Typical age: Toddlers and preschoolers	If your child wanders into your bedroom, lead him back to his bed--without saying a word or saying very little--even if you have to do it several times a night. The lack of chit-chat will reinforce the message that there is no benefit to going into your room.	Avoid body contact with your child as he's falling asleep. Keeping your phsical distance will help him learn to go back to sleep without you if he wakes in the night. If you don't believe in cosleeping, don't let your child into your bed--he'll quickly become a bed-switcher.
The Night Owl Your child becomes energized at night and seems to take forever to fall asleep. Typical age: Preschoolers and school-age kids	Turn off the computer as bedtime approaches. Some experts believe the monitor's light mimics daylight, tricking the body into wakefulness. Have your child stick to her regular sleep schedule on weekends; in some kids, even a one-hour change can reset their body clock.	Don't let your child have a television in her room or watch one close to bedtime; studies show it's associated with sleep disturbances. In addition, don't let your child play or do homework in bed. Using a bed for activities oth than sleeping confuses the body.
Still struggling over bedtime? Ask Will Wilkoff, M.D., for advice on the Sleep Dilemmas board at www.child.com/community.

upon cleaning my desk, I found...

2004-08-30T11:26:00.000-04:00

Ok, so I decided to clean the desk when I couldn't find the current electric bill. All of our bills, before we moved, were paid online and there was no paper. Now that we have moved, most of the new companies (telephone, cable, electricity) prefer that you keep your paper bill current for 3 months before you switch to autopay. I don't get it, I mean if you're autopay - they get their money ON time and FOR sure. Anyways, my desk was in severe need of my attention. Upon opening, stapling, sorting, filing, trashing, wiping and generally organizing, I found:

2 Surveys: One for baby formula use and the other for a $5000 giveaway hosted by the producers of my cigarettes. Both have been completed and are located in the "Out" mail slot.

15 Parenting Magazines. I'll skim through and pick out only the best articles to share with you all.

2 recycling bins of trash including; empty envelopes, junk mail, and newspapers. The magazines go in there next.

1 fairly large stack of misprinted papers, Isaac can color on the back of these and save a couple of trees.

Driving logs, belonging to my husband, for the last 8 months.

1, 125ct box of business envelopes. I really need these now that I have to MAIL OUT PAYMENTS.

Several valuable coupons for baby stuff that Nicholas actually uses.

The cordless phone - only after it began ringing though.

Disks featuring family pictures for May and June.

Tag notice for my car. Good thing that I decided to do this today, my tag
happens to run out TODAY.

3 of Isaac's cups. These were found in a drawer that I never use.

20+ graphics orders from previous customers.

Nicholas! He was in his walker and somehow got under the pull-out keyboard tray area.

Due to the items that I found on my desk, my To-Do list has changed a bit for today. Instead of relaxing and enjoying Nicholas while Isaac is at school, I have this to do:

Get tag for car.
Go to post office for stamps.
Mail surveys while at post office.
Call Fitness Quest and bitch about my Gazelle not being here yet.
Take garbage and recycling bins to trash facility.

*deep sigh*

~~busy again, damn it!

feeling artsy...

2004-08-29T20:52:00.000-04:00

I think I am going to make some quilts. It is getting to be winter time and around this time every year in the early 1900's, women would begin their quilts for the winter. I'm feeling just a tad bit on the early 1900's side so I am going to make a quilt, or four. It would be groovy to make everyone their own quilt for their bed. Super groovy.

~~me

Update:
This is the first quilt I am going to attempt.

rip roaring tornado...

2004-08-28T22:58:00.000-04:00

The damnest thing happened today. After taking Justin to work, I return to find Nicholas screaming, Daddy watching TV and Isaac playing in his room. I quickly loved on Nicholas, to calm him down, and began a discussion with Tim about cleaning the house. Nicholas and I went to retrieve more coffee and returned to find a sleeping Daddy. I enjoyed that last cup of coffee before I dove into the back portion of the house and began cleaning.

I, of course, started in Isaac's room. I am not sure why I like starting there but in my mind it is a good place to start. I put away all of his toys, made the beds, uncluttered the toys from his closet and swept the rug. Then I put the rug on one of the made beds and proceeded with the floor. Again, I now believe that carpet has to be the nastiest thing on this earth because I clean these floors every other day and each room yields almost a full dust pan of dirt and other foreign objects. Next I used a store brand of cleaner on the floor and quickly decided that it was time to reorder the recommended cleanser for the type of flooring that we have. After cleaning the floor, I replaced the rug in Isaac's room and proceeded to the bathroom.

In the bathroom, I cleaned from the ceilings to the floor. I did not clean the shower, it is Tim's duty to do so. Poor little Isaac must have the worst aim because I had to scrub, and I do this every other day, the floor twice. Gross.

Next I headed into Nicholas' room. There isn't much cleaning to be done in there. The room is only ever used to change, dress and Nicholas take his naps. Again, the floor is the biggest task and despite the use of the room, a full dust pan is still the results after sweeping. Justin came home.

Following the natural progression of the house, the hallway that connects the bathroom to Isaac's room and Nicholas' room was next - sweeping, cleaning the floor and disinfecting light switches. I had been cleaning for a good 2 hours and Nicholas had had enough. He wanted his Mommy and wanted her now. I laid down the brooms, mops, cleansers and dust pan, washed my hands and picked him up. As I fed him, my Mom came over for a minute. She was on her way to town and wanted to see if I needed anything. I didn't but the visit was good. I came back into the house, with Nicholas, and discovered that Isaac and Justin were now taking a nap and Tim was awake. After a few minutes passed, my Grandpa came over.

When 'Papa' comes over, I am expected to cook a feast. After feeding Nicholas, I laid him in his crib and began cooking. Had I known Papa was coming over, I would have cleaned the kitchen first. I hate cooking in a dirty kitchen. I had put a whole chicken in the oven earlier so that it could cook slowly and be tender and juicy. Papa requested, "side meat and cabbage." Side meat is literally the portion of fat between a pigs ass muscles and skin. Yummy right? *laughing* Supper ended up being:

Tonight's Menu

baked chicken
baked potatoes
cabbage
corn
side meat
homemade biscuits
homemade coconut cream pie

The kitchen looked like a tornado had blown through it. Everyone ate until their eyes were just about closed. Nicholas and I sat on the couch with Tim and fell asleep. We slept from 6:00PM until 10:00PM. When I woke up, Tim had laid Isaac down for the night and cleaned the kitchen - including the floor. All that is needed to do tomorrow is our bedroom and the house is once again clean.

~~satisfied and not sleepy (damn it!)

picture book...

2004-08-27T23:45:00.000-04:00

Today I've decided to catalog my day with pictures. Hope you enjoy...

There were no kids, mothers or grandmothers injured in these pictures.

2004-08-27T23:23:00.001-04:00

"Look into my eyes..."

2004-08-27T23:23:00.000-04:00

Nicholas

2004-08-27T23:22:00.000-04:00

Mommy & Nicholas some more

2004-08-27T23:21:00.000-04:00

Mommy & Nicholas

2004-08-27T23:20:00.001-04:00

Meanass

2004-08-27T23:20:00.000-04:00

Mean & Meaner

2004-08-27T23:19:00.001-04:00

Lighting and Austin

2004-08-27T23:19:00.000-04:00

"hmmm, what's next"

2004-08-27T23:17:00.000-04:00

A kiss for Grandma.

2004-08-27T23:16:00.000-04:00

Ass up Nich

my 69th post...

2004-08-26T19:54:00.000-04:00

Let's review.

The most commonly known 69...

As related to music...

Woodstock Music and Art Fair which occurred in White Lake / Bethel, NY on August 15,16,17 in the year 1969.

The Star 69 Records current and upcoming information section, where you will get the latest and greatest news from New Yorks underground house and tribal dance music scene.

As a star...

M69 was discovered by Abbe Nicholas Louis de la Caille, who included it in his catalog of southern objects as Lacaille I.11. Charles Messier missed this southern cluster when he first looked for it in 1764, but found it with the better scope he had in 1780, and cataloged it on August 31, 1780.

Let's not forget fashion...

69-GEAR started with a vision of providing a hot alternative in apparel. We started small, selling our first product at local trade shows. We quickly learned that the demand for our product was beyond the scope of tradeshows and that we needed to not only offer our product on-line but in stores as well.

A roadway?

Ok, I'm sure that I've elaborated enough on 69. This is my 69th entry into this blog and I can assure you that I am proud of that fact. However, in my blissness, I will not be striping down naked, turning around - upside down - using my mouth - dancing - voting for a highway or buying clothes featuring the number. I'm just not that kind of flashy chick. In addition, my 69 style is slightly different that the descriptions above. My 69 consists of my knocking someone so hard in the face that their head is located between their legs and their ass comes to rest on their shoulders. Now that is kinky!

~~weird mood

deep sigh...

2004-08-25T21:59:00.000-04:00

Last night wasn't a good sleeping night either. Nicholas is not sleeping well at all. Maybe tonight will be better.

My day.
Isaac woke up early again but I was already up with Nicholas. Justin knocked on the door at 6:00am and was here long enough to run in and change clothes. I hate to tell him but I'm not going to be a storage facility for his shit and him come in and out as he pleases. I refuse to let him run over me. Since he has been here, he knows that I haven't been sleeping well and now he knows that I'm sick and his ass is still out chasing pussy while I wait for him to let him in. This is bullshit. Anyway, Isaac went off to school and Nicholas and I caught up on this blog. I straightened the house, not cleaned. Papa came over to take me to get the car. I was so tired last night that Tim drove his self to work. Nicholas and I took a nap before Isaac got out of school. Once Isaac arrived, we piled into the car to go to the doctor's office. Nicholas had his 4 month check up today. He is 14lbs 15.5oz and 29in long. He also got 4 shots, 2 in each leg - poor baby. We had cereal for dinner (Isaac's idea) but it was Multigrain Cheerios so I'm thinking it was ok in my sleep deprived, sick state of being. Everyone got a bath and was in bed at a very decent time, 7:45pm. Here I sit, waiting to let Justin and I've had just about enough. Sunday, I had to go get him at 8:30PM and he drug his ass getting his things from JW's. Monday he jumped up and went to work and we picked him up too and that evening, he left with Robby and got home at 5:30 in the morning but I took him to work and he worked and I picked him up. Then as soon as we got home, he was gone with Robby again and didn't come home until 6:00AM this morning and only long enough to change clothes and Robby supposedly took him to work. I haven't seen him since. If I had enough energy, I'd dump all of his shit at the end of the driveway.

~~pissed

Isaac's first note from school...

2004-08-25T11:37:00.000-04:00

Apparently, the teachers have been having a bit of a crisis at nap time. Isaac just wouldn't lay down like the other kids and being that he is so much bigger (taller and stouter) than the other kids, they didn't try to make him. They requested on Friday that I bring his baby and blanket on Monday to see if it would help. I quickly told them that he would lay down with his baby and blanket but that if any other kid touched these items, it would not be good and I didn't want him being suspended before he had been in school a week. They both laughed and assured me that they would see to it that no other child have access to these items. So Monday, I sent his baby and blanket with him. This is the note that I got back in his backpack:

Dear April,
Thank-you so much for sending Isaac's blanket and baby. He took his first nap today. It was so much easier for him and for us. He did not cry at all at nap time. I really appreciate your help.

Thanks Again,
teacher #1

Piss, Puke & Poop Chronicles

Finally Friday...

*stretch*

Silent Night...

Cha-Cha-Cha-Changes

Its been awhile...

Simple Reminders...

A good time...

Tools...

Okay okay...

2005 Superbowl

Driving in the Snow and Ice...

Wonderous Winterland...

Busy but making it...

It has been awhile...

Always a first...

Speaking of reading...

New Year's Resolutions...

Tis the season to be jolly...

Party In Momma's Bed? What?

Parental Concern...

In Sickness And In Health...

In the depths of the dungeon...

The Insensitivity of Men...

A Serious Pain In The....

X Rated - Read At Own Risk...

Thanksgiving...

Bitter Sweet...

My hair...

Oh yeah...

In the thick of things...

Busy As A Bee...

Mr. Clean...

And the winner is...

Is my ass really that big?

Needle In A Haystack...

House Cleaning...

It's Party Time...

Finally!

Oh happy days...

Domestic Affairs...

The Stupid Award goes to...

Something Cute

Awe my kids...

Look At My List

Ah

all is well..

my heart stopped today...

Introducing my best friend Misty...

2 sides, no words and illness...

and so it was late...

screaming madly...

policy council meeting...

4 legged critters...

big smiles...

deep breaths...

deep breaths...

the first of many...

blogger issues...

in the loo of things...

i gave my blood to vampires...

super busy...

Hima's Blog Title - Take 1

I'm so tired, I'll share pictures instead of typing...

holidays, ugh...

holy shitballs Batman...

A design in born...

super Saturday...

I love my hubby this much...

in search of the skinny...

10 *deep breath* 9 *deep breath*...

not all is lost...

I fired my therapist...

my mind is racing, buckle up...

"Easy Bedtimes" #1 Magazine Article to share

upon cleaning my desk, I found...

feeling artsy...

rip roaring tornado...

picture book...

my 69th post...

stretch

10 deep breath 9 deep breath...