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I am a creative, homely and domesticated mother of two very active boys, the loving, loyal and by rare request slutty wife to my considerably older husband, a devoted daughter to my mother, uncivilized to the rest of my family and misunderstood by everyone else. Like I give a flying rats ass.

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the life of a mother with youth

Wednesday, September 29, 2004
Introducing my best friend Misty...

Due to my earlier post, I feel it necessary to explain Misty...

My parents moved us to Mount Airy, North Carolina, in February of 1992. It was cold and snowing and very different from where we came from, Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. In Myrtle Beach, the sun ALWAYS shines and it is almost always over 60 degrees. I hated Mount Airy and North Carolina. I wanted nothing more than to get away from such a redneckville filled with toothless, illiterate, weird talking people.

My first day at my new school was a disaster. I hadn't yet mastered the art of my attitude that so nicely compliments my personality. I was confusing to people because I spoke proper and dressed as if I were a business woman going to work. I was labeled outcast as soon as I walked through the doors of my new school. The looks were, well, horrible. The next couple of days was not much better. I hadn't smiled in days and everyone could tell, at home and school, that I was not a happy camper. I remember one of the "popular" girls commenting on me, "She looks like she could kill you with her eyes, she is definitely not getting in our group." At hearing this my comment was, "fuck you sweetheart, I wouldn't place myself in your group for all of the money that you daddy makes selling your mother." My statement was enough to keep any prospect friends away. Numerous rumors scattered and I was miserable but found it amusing that no one would so much ask me where I was from or even look at me once I found them doing so. I got the most looking in band. I played the clarinet like a bird sings and everyone would whisper that I was too good to be in the school band. My music teacher was thoroughly impressed and used me as an example on how the other kids should take music more seriously. Blah. Misty was a flute player - in the last seat I mind you (that's like the oh-you-cant-really-play-so-we'll-put-you-on-the-end-and-hopefully-everyone-else-will-drown-you-out-seat). It so happens that on the front row of a full ensemble the clarinets sit beside the flutes. I sat second chair (not for long) between a chick with an afro and a different chick that seriously needed a bath. Our music teacher was flipping out on the trumpets on my third day there. She made this comment, "I bet April could play it better than you with your own instrument." Being the smartass that I am, I spoke up and said, "of course I can, shall I prove it?" The look on the teacher's face was priceless and I did prove that I could play the trumpet, then the flute, sax, trombone and percussion. After percussion, I told the teacher that if she had any style woodwind, I could also play it as well as the french horn and tuba. After that, no one would even look at me. It was almost as I was invisible. The bus rides home were the worst. People would sit 3 to a bench seat just to avoid having to sit beside me. That third day home, my life changed for forever.

Accustomed to having my own seat, I stretched my legs out and began reading in the bus seat. Shortly after, Misty flopped down on my knees, almost buckling them. I looked up at her with evil eyes and she said, "I don't care how scary your eyes are, what instruments you can play or how much you know about everything." I kept my look and responded, "fuck you." She got the most surprised look on her face and said, "well, thanks for the offer but I haven't even had a boy yet." I rolled my eyes down to focus on my book again. The brave little Misty took my book and introduced herself.
"I'm Misty and yes, I just took your book. I live on Myrtle Drive and you're from Myrtle Beach. You live on Louise Avenue and my Granny's name is Louise. You're in the band and I'm in the band. You have an annoying little brother and so do I. So we have lots in common and I think we should be friends."

"yeah right," I responded.

Every since then, it has always been Misty and April. We lived only a mile away from eachother and would walk halfway each to meet. In the middle was two ponds. We would sit on the bank and talk about school, boys and anything else that was on our mind. Actually, she did most of the talking. I've always been the more silent one and she can't shut up. We did mostly everything together until she hit 16 and I turned 15. She got pregnant and moved away at the same time that I was accepted into the North Carolina School of the Arts, majoring in Music btw *wink*. She went to Oklahoma with her Mom to carry and have the baby and I went to live in a dorm with people I didn't know. We called for the first few months but soon she began busy with being pregnant and I got busy with my new life. She called me one day toward the end of my pregnancy and left this message on my machine.
April, I hope that you are going home this weekend because I've sent a very special package that will spoil if you are not there to open it. Hope that you like it. Talk to you again soon."

I immediately called home and ask my parents to come get me that weekend and explained Misty's message to them. My mom did not like Misty and that was no secret. She thought Misty would influence me to do bad girl things, like getting pregnant at 16. I suspected nothing when I arrived home. I went into my old room that still looked the same before hitting the television downstairs. It couldn't have been 15 minutes later, long enough for her Papa to drive her to my house and drop her off, that someone knocked on the door. Mom yelled down that she would get it, it was probably a religious person with a booklet. I heard her open the door and then whispering. It was Misty. She waddled her little fat, pregnant body into the house and yelled, "SURPRISE." I looked up at her and said, "where's your bow?" We caught up on things and she left. We saw eachother a few times after that.

I remember seeing Dakota (her first baby) for the first time. He was so small and noisy. I ask her how she dealt with it and she did not respond. I couldn't get over the fact that he was so beautiful. Until that moment, I never wanted children. She was 16 and still a kid herself when Dakota was 2 weeks old. She wasn't through with being a kid and signed Dakota over to her mother and her husband to raise as their own. A part of me never forgave her for that. I only personally know 1 person, my Aunt, that hasn't lost their first born one way or another - either by death or giving them up. Sad isn't it?

It was years before I saw her again. I had graduated and she moved on. The next time we saw each other, Tim and I were living in a tiny place in Mount Airy. Out of curiosity, I called her Papa's house and ask for her. She was there. We agreed on a place to meet and so began our relationship again. We had glorious nights on the town, in Tim's sports car, spending Tim's money and being good girls trying to be bad. We were never bad. We did experiment with a few illegal substances but none ever stuck on us. We were happy just being together, riding with the t-tops out and jamming to Lynard Skynard. Every where we went, people would look at us. I was a tall, long haired - hippy looking redhead and she was a short blonde with a large chest. Guys never stood a chance with me, I had Tim. It wasn't long before she met her future husband. At the time, he seemed like a great guy.

Jamie was an our age fellow with a good job, a new truck and completely head over heels for Misty. He didn't care that she had a past and she didn't ask questions about him. They were cute together and we enjoyed double dating. One day, Jamie decided that he didn't like my influence on Misty. She was forbid to talk to me. It must have been a hell of a choice for her. She chose both but me whenever she could fit me in. We sneaked around for the longest.

The morning that I lost Audrey, Misty was on the phone with me. She heard my shrieks and told me to hang up on her and call 9-1-1. I couldn't move. She hung up on me and called them herself. They arrived in the nick of time to save my life. For that I will never be able to repay Misty. She met me at the hospital and held my hand as the doctor told me about Audrey. Misty was pregnant and terrified but toughed it out for me. She rode home with me and left me at my Mom's to go nextdoor to my house and rid it of any reminders laying around. She packed all of Audrey's things (bottles, dirty clothes, shoes, toys, baby books) in Audrey's room and closed the door. It was over a year before I opened that door again. She poured my drinks when I was too messed up to pour them. Drinking eased the pain. She took care of me when Tim went back to work and I wasn't myself. Jamie complained and she told him to get lost. He waited patiently for her, trying to understand. Those days are still blurry to me but she was there until I could function well enough to care for myself. I was devastated. I wonder what it did to her to see me like that. I was the quiet but strong one. We never talk about Audrey, to this day.

Over the course of the last 4 years, either Jamie or Tim have forbid our relationship, taking turns. We both ignore our husbands and meet occasionally. She now has 2 children, Bryson (4) and Zach (3). I have opinions about her husband that I will not wait to share. He is the lowest life on Earth that there is. After Misty and Jamie married, he began faking seizures and used them as an excuse to work. He has only done odd jobs with no future for work. He cheats on her. He hits her. He doesn't help her with the kids. He won't even watch the kids for her to work. I don't know why she is still with him but I wouldn't piss on him if he were on fire, I'd probably add gas just to see how high I could get the flames. She loves him so much, I don't understand it. They survive by Misty's Papa, who gives them everything they need and most of what they want. It is sad really. Her house is rarely clean, by clean I mean you can't get in the door without stepping on something - toys, trash, old food. She refuses to clean it for him to bring his friends over and them trash the house, I understand but damn. I can't visit her in her house without cleaning it, which gets on her nerves and gives us away. Because she never cleans, if Jamie comes home (from fishing, hunting or hanging out with his friends) and the house is clean, he knows that I've been there.

Misty has seen me go from the person that made every one laugh to the person that I am today. I still make people laugh but it is a very select group. She witnessed my change after Audrey. She truly understand me and is the only person alive that has seen me cry. She has watched while I've beat people into a pulp (including my own sister because she jumped Misty). Misty is like an old shirt for me - comfortable but ragged and too sentimental to throw away. I can't wait for the day that she grows up and Jamie grows up and they have something besides a mess for a marriage. Misty knows all of my secrets and has kept most of them to herself. That I know of, she has never told anyone how much I drank - even though she has witnessed me drink over a gallon of whiskey in a night. I don't know that I'd trust her with new information (not that I have any) but she keeps me to her self and that is the way that I prefer it.

~~damn my fingers are tired.


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