and then there were neighbors
Perhaps my old place spoiled me -- it was 1 mile from anyone. We didn't have any neighbors close enough to visit or interested enough in us to visit -- either way I was completely happy about this fact.
Now, however, we live 1 mile from city limits. This means that we have neighbors so close that I can see their faces if they were to stand in their own front yards. I am not at all happy about this. I am not sure why other than the fact that most people assume that neighbors are best friends and bend over backwards to help each other out. These are the same people the invite their neighbors to family gatherings, cook-outs, celebrations of sorts and other general crap that I have no interest in.
"Okay, you're my neighbor but that doesn't mean your dog can shit in my yard." I said.
Of course it was in response to my *right* neighbor as she walked her dog from her front porch, out of her yard, into my yard, where it proceeded to leave a huge, wet, stinky pile of shit. It was proceeded by,
"The first time I step in dogshit, I'm coming to your ass!"
I know, I know. I'm not the neighbor that most would want but show me a handbook that says I should be okay with a huge pile of dogshit in my front yard left by my neighbors dog.
The lady with the dog isn't half as bad as her husband/boyfriend/son. I'm not sure who he is to her, nor do I care, but this dude has a peeping problem. Our new bathroom, located on the *right* side of the house, has a fairly large window to peer from while you do bathroomly duties. Several times now I have caught this male peeping into my window -- from his yard -- to see what I am doing. I think I'll make signs as follows:
"Taking a shit"
"Got any toilet paper? I'll give it back!"
"In the shower : viewing NOT recommended"
"Ew, it smells awful in here"
"Damn, can you see the hair on my legs from there?"
A little harsh, I admit, but usually what people do in a bathroom requires the utmost privacy. I'll let you know what his reactions are. *laugh*
The neighbors on the *left* side haven't even bothered to notice that we are here and I'm extremely happy about that. I already like them because they are too busy in their own life to look in my window at ours.
~~neighborly sign maker